TOW: Living in the Past

Hey friends, what were you doing yesterday? Ah, that was a good day wasn't it? How was your last fifteen minutes? You still remember that piece of cake you just had? Don't you wish you still had it? I do. The second piece wasn't as good as the first, at least for me. Didn't seem as nice. And let me say, I'm half-way through the third piece, and according to my memory, I didn't feel half as sick during my first piece.

This thought of the week is dedicated to my current nostalgia that has been affecting me to a large level since February. (This thought of the week is also brought to you by the letter Q. Har har har.) Nostolgia can have an interesting effect on you. You start thinking about past relationships, past accomplishments, and start wondering if you're on the right track. Wasn't I in a better place last year? Didn't I feel better about my circle of friends, about my family, my relationships and career a year or two ago? Weren't things easier back then? Why do things seem so hard these days?

Dang it, it was way better back then! The past tastes so yummy when I think about it like that! Hand me another piece of cake! I'm not hungry, but I'll eat it anyways! Gimmie that!

Ahem.

The philosopher Jacques Lacan had something to say about the past. He said, "Repitition is not the same thing as reproduction." We think, "Wow, the first time I did something, x happened. I bet that will happen again." We try and relive it, or in Lacanian terms, we try to repeat the past to prevent us from facing the future. This often applies to our desire for a certain kind of pleasure we had in the past that was so great we want it again and again. However, experience often teaches us that this is a bad idea. My first piece of cake didn't taste as good as my second piece. And my third piece, well, let's just say it wasn't pleasurable. Someone hand me my antacid. =(

Living in the past is a reaction which is (usually) brought on by an intense desire to feel happy in light of current circumstances. Sometimes we all experience moments in our lives that aren't as happy, or as rich as others. But that doesn't mean we can't value the present. It is often in those deeply unhappy moments, we do live in the past for a short time, and when we revisit the past when we can truly love ourselves for who we were.

The challenge is, naturally, to love ourselves for the people we are now and the present for what it is, versus the great person we thought we were in times past. And unless we choose to step away from those areas in which we are comfortable and easily victorious, we will never find out who we really are, now and for always. Even great men and women have desperate moments where they wish for a better life, or namely, the life they had. The characteristic that makes them great, however, is the fact that they let the past guide them into a brighter future, not a duskier one.

No more cake for me, please.