Back in Sask

Home for the holidays here, I'm having a great time.


=D


But, you know, I don't have time to do much internet-y stuff. And, on top of that, I don't have the energy, or the brilliant hi-speed internet connection, which I appreciate IMMENSELY now that I don't have it. Translation: I haven't watched youtube vidoes in like, almost a week. Scary.

I'm baking with mom, and I saved a few mins for updating my blog, and just generally slacking off during my baking regime. Eh heh.

Later!

TOW: Decisions

Decisions, decisions, I've been busy this week making decisions. I have to say, from going from what to wear, all the way to what to eat, and what time to go to sleep, I can barely make up my mind on a daily basis. Heck, sometimes I have a panic attack about what to order in the drive-thru. When you have trouble making decisions like this, who knew that you'd have to make life-changing decisions? And it's not the difference between a cruller and a chocolate eclair, my friends, it's a really heart-wrenching decision; in other words, I need to decide between a cruller, a chocolate eclair AND a maple danish. DRAMA.

To be serious, at least for a minute, it's sad that I've had to focus on making decisions that mean something. Like, where to live for example (I'm moving. AGAIN.) or how to tell people that they're not allowed to be a tyrant over you any more. (Without making them cry.) These are not easy. It's not easy being an adult. There are days when I really rather hate it.

Probably the hardest thing about making decisions is that when you make decisions, sometimes the decisions you make will hurt other people's feelings unintentionally, or cause someone else pain. It's interesting to listen to people's stories, and hear how they come to conclusions on how to make decisions. So much of our time is spent trying to decide WHAT to decide, very rarely do people tell us how important it is for us to follow through on our decisions, and to decide with confidence for the future.

Jean-Paul Sartre has said something very interesting things about the individual and free will, but I will stop at the concept of what it means to be an authentic individual. We earn the concept of being an individual, but no one can teach us to be individuals that are authentic. We must realize that experience, and not knowledge, make us who we are. Humans are more akin to actors than novels. Sometimes that experience makes us sick to our stomach, and sometimes that experience makes us feel free and alive. But always, we are faced with a choice to accept our freedom, or to reject it and let someone else, or groups of other people, determine our values and how we will live our lives.


I have to believe, that the stronger I am in making my decisions in a way that matters to me, the fewer people that I will hurt. And I'm not trying to do things that hurt people, but I also don't exist on this earth just to be a tool for other people's dreams. I have dreams I want to see fulfilled, and without accepting my own ability to decide, to fail, and to make mistakes I'll always just be a picture in someone else's frame.

And that's something I don't want to be.

VOW: I'm Yours (ukulele)

Renting

I just decided to rent a new place and that's scary. I forgot how absolutely terrible this experience was. Sigh.

Awesome

I got to sleep in today. Amazing. My prof let us finish assignments from home today. I feel like a king. I got SEVEN WHOLE HOURS OF SLEEPING.

And my assingments are done. I'm a king.

Wow

I'm MC-ing a wine and cheese, in like, 2.5 hours.


I'm losing my garbage because there's soooo much to do. Gotta run! =D

Too Busy

Hey guys and gals, sorry I haven't posted on here lately, I have had so much to do, and frankly, not a lot of time to do it. I took a weekend off for myself to prepare for the onslaught starting tomorrow. Heh. I'll basically have four 12-15 hour days in a row, so I kinda needed it for myself. And I should get to bed, but I'm rebelling. Yar.

Anyways, I'm off for a mini-break, and then I'm going to study for a test tomorrow.