Over the past month, I've had a lot of time to sit and think about myself, and where I'm going in life (as usual, eh heh) and I've been thinking about how much easier it was to be 'myself' back in the day. I remember being a confident, somewhat popular, somewhat interesting person in university, and being able to run into practically any single person I wanted to on campus or around town. I didn't have enemies, and I was a pretty happy guy.
Now, fast forward about 4-6 years, and here I am in 'the big city.' It's not as easy to be self-confident, or believe in yourself when times are hard, or heck, simply ask for what you want for fear of rejection, at times.
Self-confidence comes from the feeling that there are things in our lives that we are proud of, activities and events that shape us and make us who we are. It is the ability to express who you want to be and accomplish what you believe in. And, it is something that we work on, every day.
I can't say that I have been a really confident person since moving to Toronto (but then again, I've been stepped on more than a couple times since I got here) but I have managed to maintain at least part of the best parts of my personality, at times, and for that I'm happy.
As I move forward in life, as we all move forward, it's important to find those sources of happiness and self-confidence that never run out, the ones that will keep us going throughout the thick and thin. Because it was easy for me to be a confident, interesting person when I was young, bright, with no student debt, a vehicle, living rent-free at my parents house with nary a care in the world. It's much harder to be confident, happy and 'with-it' when you are straddled with a majority of middle-class and lower middle class complaints like debt, poverty, bad health and no money for doctors/dentists, etc.
Self-confidence can have external sources, but real confidence, and real drive, comes from within, and spending time with yourself, and learning to like yourself again. You can only really be a confident person if you don't care what other people think, and aren't afraid to make mistakes. Learn to be happy with yourself, and what you do, so that you can forge ahead and be the best you can, versus being the best you can...afraid.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
VOW: Tik-Tok Simpsons version
Unfortunately, the versions on Youtube seem to have been recorded incorrectly, so here's the original HQ version here. Cheers. I still can't believe they used such a racy song!
Friday, June 18, 2010
A Good Day
I felt better today than I have in a while. It was fleeting, but I definitely felt 'me' for a total of two hours today, sometime, maybe even longer.
It's nice to feel good about yourself. I'm glad I have friends here.
It's nice to feel good about yourself. I'm glad I have friends here.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Time to Move Again
My roommate can apparently hear my computer playing a video game, quietly, through my door, and her door.
What else can she hear? This...this is insane. What are these walls made of?? Paper mache???
Seriously, I've had it. Time for a change of scenery. I'm finding a new place.
What else can she hear? This...this is insane. What are these walls made of?? Paper mache???
Seriously, I've had it. Time for a change of scenery. I'm finding a new place.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
TOW: Making the Ordinary...Extraordinary
My friends Paul, Tori, and I went to a a Starbucks to chat and discuss our future employment opportunities. Paul, who had worked very hard in his unpaid internship to secure a position and had asked every single hiring manager in the government for a job, was completely and utterly depressed. He had finished his internship on Wednesday, with his boss saying, "My hands are tied. I can't hire currently."
Being Paul's birthday, and being in the kind of mood I was, I walked up to the counter, and said to the cashier, "I want a Carmel Frappacino, and it's my friend Paul's birthday. Can you give him something...like a discount, or anything?"
The cashier, who was in work mode, immediately brightened and said, "Of course, actually, how about a free cupcake?" Paul looked embarassed, and said he didn't want the cupcake.
I said, "Yes, that's what he wants." I even chose the cupcake for him.
As my drink was being made, my friends and I chatted some more. Paul talked about how he might have to leave his house and move in with some friends because as a mature student, his work funding was going to run out eventally, and then he was going to have trouble paying his bills.
The girl making my drink said, "Hey, I have some leftover from your drink, would your friend like to have the rest?" My friend Paul stood there a little silently, not trying to make a fuss.
I said, "Yes, make him one as well." He got a drink almost the same size as mine. For free.
As we sat down, we joked lightly about starting our own PR agency. I could be the social media guy, Paul could do media relations, and Tori would do all the video and camera work for internal communications clients. Paul's phone rang. He looked perturbed, and walked off to answer the call.
When he came back, he said he had been hired on a short term contract at the government by his boss.
The point of this story is two-fold: one, people want to help those who are down on their luck, and two, working hard never goes unappreciated. Ever.
Our lives are filled with ordinary moments, like waiting in line and talking to cashiers. However, those moments become extraordinary when we ask for what we want, when we ask for something that will help someone else out in life. People are sometimes hesitant to help you, if you're just one person. But if you are asking for some help, to help others in your life, and to create a better world around you in any small way, people will bend over backwards to help.
So, next time you are doing something rudimentary, or routine, ask yourself what you can do to ask more of other people. The one thing that drives people, more than anything, is a meaningful break from monotonous tasks.
Help give other people's lives meaning, and you'll never fail to get what you want.
Being Paul's birthday, and being in the kind of mood I was, I walked up to the counter, and said to the cashier, "I want a Carmel Frappacino, and it's my friend Paul's birthday. Can you give him something...like a discount, or anything?"
The cashier, who was in work mode, immediately brightened and said, "Of course, actually, how about a free cupcake?" Paul looked embarassed, and said he didn't want the cupcake.
I said, "Yes, that's what he wants." I even chose the cupcake for him.
As my drink was being made, my friends and I chatted some more. Paul talked about how he might have to leave his house and move in with some friends because as a mature student, his work funding was going to run out eventally, and then he was going to have trouble paying his bills.
The girl making my drink said, "Hey, I have some leftover from your drink, would your friend like to have the rest?" My friend Paul stood there a little silently, not trying to make a fuss.
I said, "Yes, make him one as well." He got a drink almost the same size as mine. For free.
As we sat down, we joked lightly about starting our own PR agency. I could be the social media guy, Paul could do media relations, and Tori would do all the video and camera work for internal communications clients. Paul's phone rang. He looked perturbed, and walked off to answer the call.
When he came back, he said he had been hired on a short term contract at the government by his boss.
The point of this story is two-fold: one, people want to help those who are down on their luck, and two, working hard never goes unappreciated. Ever.
Our lives are filled with ordinary moments, like waiting in line and talking to cashiers. However, those moments become extraordinary when we ask for what we want, when we ask for something that will help someone else out in life. People are sometimes hesitant to help you, if you're just one person. But if you are asking for some help, to help others in your life, and to create a better world around you in any small way, people will bend over backwards to help.
So, next time you are doing something rudimentary, or routine, ask yourself what you can do to ask more of other people. The one thing that drives people, more than anything, is a meaningful break from monotonous tasks.
Help give other people's lives meaning, and you'll never fail to get what you want.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
TOW: Who Matters in Your Life?
I've been really blessed since moving to Toronto because some of the people I really love are in this city. I can name a few.
Lately, though I have been feeling like the real question is how I can be a good friend to people around me. The answer to that used to be easy. A good friend is someone that listens to your problems, takes care of your needs, helps you with tasks and particpates in activities you like. Friends used to be people that were like you.
What I have found, now, in the future, is that your friendships change because you are constantly changing. You don't always have interests to bring you together with other people anymore. Suddenly your best friend from high school or university has been married or has kids. The people you truly want to see regularly live in different cities. Maybe someone decides to live in another country. Suddenly everything is different.
What I am finding, especially as I age, is that friendship is more than a matter of choice, it's a matter of staking out who you are. Will you be friends with people who constantly let you down, or do you choose people that are reliable? Are you closer to your family instead of your friends? One or two close friends, or a large circle of people you can see to keep yourself busy?
It's always a mystery as to why we choose the people we do in our lives, especially when being away from those people often makes us feel pain or anxiety. Sometimes I'm sure we all feel it would be better if we never made friends, never had relationships, never got involved in messy life issues of other people. But the truth is, we do choose, and we must choose, to be friends with people every day. There are very few choices that matter so much in life as choosing our friends, and choosing them wisely. And we must respond to their needs because the whole point of being good, and becoming better people is by being strong for ourselves and for others when we need them. Personal strength isn't something that grows on trees. We cultivate it.
I am very lucky to have the people I have in my life. And, for every hundred rude people that have tried to ruin my day, it only takes one true friend to brighten up my life.
Lately, though I have been feeling like the real question is how I can be a good friend to people around me. The answer to that used to be easy. A good friend is someone that listens to your problems, takes care of your needs, helps you with tasks and particpates in activities you like. Friends used to be people that were like you.
What I have found, now, in the future, is that your friendships change because you are constantly changing. You don't always have interests to bring you together with other people anymore. Suddenly your best friend from high school or university has been married or has kids. The people you truly want to see regularly live in different cities. Maybe someone decides to live in another country. Suddenly everything is different.
What I am finding, especially as I age, is that friendship is more than a matter of choice, it's a matter of staking out who you are. Will you be friends with people who constantly let you down, or do you choose people that are reliable? Are you closer to your family instead of your friends? One or two close friends, or a large circle of people you can see to keep yourself busy?
It's always a mystery as to why we choose the people we do in our lives, especially when being away from those people often makes us feel pain or anxiety. Sometimes I'm sure we all feel it would be better if we never made friends, never had relationships, never got involved in messy life issues of other people. But the truth is, we do choose, and we must choose, to be friends with people every day. There are very few choices that matter so much in life as choosing our friends, and choosing them wisely. And we must respond to their needs because the whole point of being good, and becoming better people is by being strong for ourselves and for others when we need them. Personal strength isn't something that grows on trees. We cultivate it.
I am very lucky to have the people I have in my life. And, for every hundred rude people that have tried to ruin my day, it only takes one true friend to brighten up my life.
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