You know, we all say we want to achieve our dreams. The phrase in english, as it's put, is "Reach for the stars." I think we say that because we think that dreams are something far away, twinkling in the sky, making us happy just to think about them. Currently, I'm dreaming about cupcakes, but maybe that's more a daydream. Eh heh. Right.
We all have dreams for the future. Either for our families, friends, loved ones, and, of course, for ourselves. It's interesting that our dreams so often rely on circumstances outside our control or beyond our ability to foresee the future. Having a baby, winning the lottery, becoming a famous musician, getting married, getting the job of your dreams, these are things we can imagine. But we never seem to know how things are going to turn out in real life.
I recently talked with my friend Graham about having dreams and achieving them, and I think we both shared a similar feeling that we thought adulthood would be a somewhat safer, happier place as we go about achieving what we consider to be our dreams. The truth is, however, is that achieving our dreams means taking serious risks...risks that sometimes mean we fail. And nobody likes to fail.
People that we think had star-studded lives actually has serious issues and conflicts that they faced, and were only rewarded for persevering. George Washington lost all but one of his teeth by time he became president, and was in constant pain for the rest of his life. Rick Hansen, a famous athlete, was paralyzed from the waist down at 15 from a car crash. He raised $26 million dollars for spinal cord injury research and cycled around the world in his wheelchair. People have pain. People have problems. Most of the problems we have are insignificant compared to people plauged with disease, famine, or the loss of their friends and family.
The truth is we shape who we are, and we choose who we are and we can be anything, really and truly anything we want to be. Everything bad in our life can be a disaster, or an adventure. It can be an obstacle, or a challenge. The reason most of us don't reach our potential is not because we aren't capable of achieving our dreams, but because we turn back when the obstacles seem to be too much for us to surmount.
I guess we all think we want to achieve our dreams without thinking we have to sacrifice anything. We want to have success with the hard work. No one wants to change when they think about their dreams...most people just want the results without the consequences. All things in life come with a price, whether it's time, money, or health. Nothing in this world comes without a price. But, that can be comforting, because that means that even we have a value that can't be nullified, as individuals.
There is no obstacle in life so large we can't overcome it to achieve our dreams. As long as we are alive, we have a chance to change our lives and realize our dreams. It doesn't mean that dreams get easier as you get older. It seems to me, dreams become harder to achieve the older you are, but they are always, always still possible.
But what are you willing to give up in your life currently to make a dream real? And how long are you willing to toil for a dream you have?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, August 09, 2010
TOW: What Are You Thinking?
This week is devoted to the one thing all of us struggle with, and all of us fail to understand: what someone else is thinking.
In life, we play a lot of games--political games, games for fun, and mind games in the case of relationships. Sometimes it seems as if life is a struggle for power. But, in reality, life is only a struggle to understand what other people are thinking.
I think one of my least favourite games as a kid or teenager, was the game called mafia, or sometimes, werewolf. You had to randomly pick someone to be 'the killer' and then everyone else went around the room accusing other people of being a killer. The mafia, a werewolf, whatever. The truth is, I know I always wanted to know the truth...what is this person thinking, or what is that person thinking?
Most of us struggle with personal choices not because we don't know what we want, but because we don't know what other people want. Often, we use 'the norm' as a guide, but we sometimes feel stranded when we don't know how our spouse, friend, or enemy feels. We want to know, how do you really feel? What's really the truth that you're hiding? Can I trust the words you say? Are you part of the mafia?
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I often find that life for me is a struggle to understand what other people think, not about me, but about themselves. I can easily understand what other people say about me--I simply need to ask. But understanding another human being's behaviour is complicated, and requires time and energy most of us don't have. How to interpret body language? How to know that the words people speak are true? It's not easy. I think what most of us hope for is a world in which not only other people can understand us, but that we can understand other people, and the things they want and need.
I don't have an answer yet as to how to conquer our need to understand what other people are thinking. I think it's a necessary part of life--we want to understand other points of view so that the world can be different, and interesting. But, the point remains that we would love to be able to crawl into the head of our boss and understand what they really think about us.
But we don't have that ability...so all we can hope for is a little mental security in our choices, in our own heads.
And even sometimes that isn't easy. What were we thinking?
In life, we play a lot of games--political games, games for fun, and mind games in the case of relationships. Sometimes it seems as if life is a struggle for power. But, in reality, life is only a struggle to understand what other people are thinking.
I think one of my least favourite games as a kid or teenager, was the game called mafia, or sometimes, werewolf. You had to randomly pick someone to be 'the killer' and then everyone else went around the room accusing other people of being a killer. The mafia, a werewolf, whatever. The truth is, I know I always wanted to know the truth...what is this person thinking, or what is that person thinking?
Most of us struggle with personal choices not because we don't know what we want, but because we don't know what other people want. Often, we use 'the norm' as a guide, but we sometimes feel stranded when we don't know how our spouse, friend, or enemy feels. We want to know, how do you really feel? What's really the truth that you're hiding? Can I trust the words you say? Are you part of the mafia?
\
I often find that life for me is a struggle to understand what other people think, not about me, but about themselves. I can easily understand what other people say about me--I simply need to ask. But understanding another human being's behaviour is complicated, and requires time and energy most of us don't have. How to interpret body language? How to know that the words people speak are true? It's not easy. I think what most of us hope for is a world in which not only other people can understand us, but that we can understand other people, and the things they want and need.
I don't have an answer yet as to how to conquer our need to understand what other people are thinking. I think it's a necessary part of life--we want to understand other points of view so that the world can be different, and interesting. But, the point remains that we would love to be able to crawl into the head of our boss and understand what they really think about us.
But we don't have that ability...so all we can hope for is a little mental security in our choices, in our own heads.
And even sometimes that isn't easy. What were we thinking?
Sunday, August 08, 2010
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