I've had a rough couple weeks with being sick and all, and I have been pretty lucky because my family checked in on me. And I have been thinking a lot about the various kinds of relationships in my life, and which ones are good, which ones are ok, and which ones seem to do nothing but invite disaster in my life. (I'm trying to remedy that number. Eh heh.) What I have been thinking about this week is all about family, and all about how much my family matters to me.
You know, it's times like this that I think of Aristotle. (Which is rare, because most days I choose not to think about Aristotle. Not a fan, I guess.) He had some really great ideas about the oikos, or 'family household' that still translate across the ages. Artistotle said that the family was the building block for all society. It allows people to become members of the polis (city-state) because it's the basic unit required for good living in a larger community. In essence, society can't exist without families. And, in a way, neither can we. The family comes even before the individual, because you need a group of people to acknowledge roles and places in society. (Now, I'm paraphrasing a bit, eh heh.)
Anyways!
More importantly, I think it's important to remember how valuable it is to have a family, no matter how big, or how small. Families can change, grow closer, move apart, but more than anything, families will always, in their own way, accept you for who you are, and help you when you really need it. (Not necessarily when we always want it, but hey. Can't always win.)
No group, organization, or other sort of group can replace your family. They are yours for life, and their history and accomplishments are part of your successes, accomplishments, and happiness. Of course, on the flip side, their negatives, their failures, and their inability to love at times is also part of your identity.
I really am lucky to have the family I have, even though it's not always perfect, and many times, it's pretty complicated. But on the bright side of all that, I am lucky to have a family that is built on loving people in their own way.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Zombies!
In honour of Halloween this weekend, here are highlights from the Zombie Walk that goes on in Toronto. It's an international event where people dress up as zombies and walk around downtown, pretending to be undead. Cute! It's a really fun, community oriented event, and you really feel like you're in a movie!
This girl really creeped me out. She walked right up to me, and just kind of stood there.
For some reason I love this guy's costume!
I think this was the best shot I took all day. =)
I LOVED THIS GUY! =D
Party on, dude.
There were so many zombies/people. This was the crowd for about an hour, walking by like this. Insane!
I like this photo as well.
This is one disgruntled librarian! Brains!
This is a local joke. You can't read the sign, but it says, "Rob Ford for Mayor." He's now the Mayor of Toronto, and very divisive as a politician.
I thought this girl gave a really great 'look.'
Hipster zombies! Only in Toronto's Queen West!
Princess zombies. I saw a Mario zombie somewhere, but I haven't found the picture yet. =/
Errr, hi.
I loved these gals! Great idea!
This was hilarious! I have no idea where she found the body bag! (Or how she walked around in it for several hours???)
Gumby poses with Jesus. Apparently the Second Coming isn't as nice as one would think. =/
This was gross. The girl literally drank blood in front of me and poured it all over her and smiled. I have it on video, it's terrifying!
And this guy must have been hungry, because he was chewing that hand the entire walk, I think.
Crazy! I loved it! =D
Monday, October 25, 2010
TOW: Sometimes We All Think Too Much
You ever have that feeling that you've thought about something so much, you've walked around some problem in your life so often, that all of a sudden the track you were running now seems like a giant rut? You, my friend, are a victim of your own thinking. You've thought about something frontways, sideways, backwards, forwards, and now it's time to let it go.
Only you can't. Your wheels are spinning. You suddenly worry, did all that thinking do me any good? Or have I made a bad habit out of lamenting something in my past?
I have been reading Nietzche commentary lately and an idea of Nietzche's is the concept of tragedy and pleasure. Nietzsche says that we have a contradictory attitude towards pleasure--we often want pleasure to be repeated, or to experience a moment of pleasure just a little bit longer.
And sometimes we get stuck. Because we can think about things we used to love--or love to hate--in the past. Our past becomes part of our present, our future, and shapes our thinking. What Nietzsche is saying (minus a bunch of philosophical concepts that don't apply here) is that our ability to think about pleasure is often what causes us pain. We want to will pleasure into the future. Who hasn't wished for one more day in their own personal version of paradise? Who doesn't wish for the idea of a blessed eternal life?
It's here that Nietzche says, "Have you ever said Yes to a single joy? O my friends, than you have said Yes too to all woe. All things are entangled, ensnared, enamoured-; if you ever wanted one thing twice, if ever you said, 'You please me, happiness! Abide, moment!' then you wanted all back...for all joy wills eternity."
I often think that we often wish for pleasures from the past to revisit us in the future. We say things like, "If only the amount of sex, money, fame, popularity, youth, energy, etc. visited me in the future like it has in the past, I could be truly, truly be happy."
And this is the trap, because happiness is an act of will 75% of the time. The rest of the time, it's a set of circumstances. Most of us don't get the circumstances that equate happiness. Most of us don't get the sunset ending.
Happiness is a state of thinking. Thinking provides us with the answer, but also the trap. We can get stuck in the past, because the past is beautiful in our eyes. But often much more painful than we remember. And we transfer that pain into loss and nostalgia, something Nietzsche councilled against--because otherwise we have a kind of sad eternity, where we only experience the same things, the same patterns, again and again, which is to accept pleasure and all the pain that comes with it. We fall into a trap where life is pain, mitigated by sessions of pleasure. Not very pleasant.
Sometimes we kick an issue in our head until it's dead and bleeding. Sometimes an issue kicks us until we feel like we are dead and bleeding.
And there might not be an answer to any of that, except that the past belongs there--in the past. I'm sure, always sure that we can build a better future, no matter what the circumstances.
But don't think too hard about it. Eh heh.
Only you can't. Your wheels are spinning. You suddenly worry, did all that thinking do me any good? Or have I made a bad habit out of lamenting something in my past?
I have been reading Nietzche commentary lately and an idea of Nietzche's is the concept of tragedy and pleasure. Nietzsche says that we have a contradictory attitude towards pleasure--we often want pleasure to be repeated, or to experience a moment of pleasure just a little bit longer.
And sometimes we get stuck. Because we can think about things we used to love--or love to hate--in the past. Our past becomes part of our present, our future, and shapes our thinking. What Nietzsche is saying (minus a bunch of philosophical concepts that don't apply here) is that our ability to think about pleasure is often what causes us pain. We want to will pleasure into the future. Who hasn't wished for one more day in their own personal version of paradise? Who doesn't wish for the idea of a blessed eternal life?
It's here that Nietzche says, "Have you ever said Yes to a single joy? O my friends, than you have said Yes too to all woe. All things are entangled, ensnared, enamoured-; if you ever wanted one thing twice, if ever you said, 'You please me, happiness! Abide, moment!' then you wanted all back...for all joy wills eternity."
I often think that we often wish for pleasures from the past to revisit us in the future. We say things like, "If only the amount of sex, money, fame, popularity, youth, energy, etc. visited me in the future like it has in the past, I could be truly, truly be happy."
And this is the trap, because happiness is an act of will 75% of the time. The rest of the time, it's a set of circumstances. Most of us don't get the circumstances that equate happiness. Most of us don't get the sunset ending.
Happiness is a state of thinking. Thinking provides us with the answer, but also the trap. We can get stuck in the past, because the past is beautiful in our eyes. But often much more painful than we remember. And we transfer that pain into loss and nostalgia, something Nietzsche councilled against--because otherwise we have a kind of sad eternity, where we only experience the same things, the same patterns, again and again, which is to accept pleasure and all the pain that comes with it. We fall into a trap where life is pain, mitigated by sessions of pleasure. Not very pleasant.
Sometimes we kick an issue in our head until it's dead and bleeding. Sometimes an issue kicks us until we feel like we are dead and bleeding.
And there might not be an answer to any of that, except that the past belongs there--in the past. I'm sure, always sure that we can build a better future, no matter what the circumstances.
But don't think too hard about it. Eh heh.
Monday, October 18, 2010
TOW: Friends
I went to Montreal this weekend and managed to see old friends, and make some new friends. Maybe it was the place, maybe it was the time, maybe it was the company. Ah, Montreal. Je l'aime.
I went to Montreal with the intention of seeing friends, and that's the best feeling in the world, knowing you're going somewhere to see someone (or someones) you care about in a big, big way.
I guess this week I have really been thinking about how good it is to have good people in your life, and to be surrounded by them. Life wouln't be the same without friends. And good friends.
I'm glad I have a few here and there.
I went to Montreal with the intention of seeing friends, and that's the best feeling in the world, knowing you're going somewhere to see someone (or someones) you care about in a big, big way.
I guess this week I have really been thinking about how good it is to have good people in your life, and to be surrounded by them. Life wouln't be the same without friends. And good friends.
I'm glad I have a few here and there.
VOW: Modelgeddon
I thought this was so amazing I wanted to share it with all of you. Actually, I love the title more than anything. Who else but Versace could have MODELGEDDON??!?!
Monday, October 11, 2010
TOW: Thankful
I usually do holiday inspired posts, and this one is no different. I have been thinking a lot about what I am thankful for these days. Which, sometimes I feel like it isn't much, but my life has definitely things that are working in it.
1) I have managed to cut a lot of drama out of my life. Surprisingly.
2) I have made time for family.
3) I have made time for friends.
4) I have made time for hobbies and activities I enjoy.
And sometimes it's things like that that make the difference. More than anything, I'm thankful for my family, and for all the good things life has provided me with. I am very lucky to have the parents I have, crazy as they may be. I'm sure I'm no better. And while nothing's ever perfect, I'm still happy I have the good things in my life that I have.
1) I have managed to cut a lot of drama out of my life. Surprisingly.
2) I have made time for family.
3) I have made time for friends.
4) I have made time for hobbies and activities I enjoy.
And sometimes it's things like that that make the difference. More than anything, I'm thankful for my family, and for all the good things life has provided me with. I am very lucky to have the parents I have, crazy as they may be. I'm sure I'm no better. And while nothing's ever perfect, I'm still happy I have the good things in my life that I have.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Monday, October 04, 2010
TOW: Self-Reliance
Lately, I have been feeling good. Which is a nice, pleasant change from feeling stressed about the future, and finances, and jobs, and sleep, and friends, and haunting items from the past that always seems to follow mearound when I least expect them. (And for some reason, the past always seems to show up in my life when I least expect it. Sort of like the leftovers in the back of your fridge that have been there, forgotten, for three weeks.)
The tough thing about being grown-up, really grown-up, is the idea of self-reliance, being able to be stable no matter what happens. Self-reliance, to me, means being able to adjust to new hardships being able to spend quality time with yourself, and really love being with you, even when you screw up. It means accepting who you are, with or without all the things people tell you are valuable to have and cherish in this lifetime.
As people grow older, there are fewer relationships maintained in your adult life. This happens because a) people start getting married b) people move away c) people start dying. And all of those options can make life more difficult and change your world of relationships and social happiness. As an adult, you become accustomed to people changing, and changing in big ways. And those changes aren't just changes for them, they are changes for you, as well. Your social web can change you if you're not careful.
Rely on yourself. Be your own pillar of strength. Never rely on anyone, never trust anyone more than yourself. You will always be putting your own self-value at risk. I speak from personal experience...I have spent the last couple years thinking that being in Canada means that I can rely on people in a different way than when I lived in Belgium. What I have realized, more than anything, is that I had more the right idea there, than here. It always felt good to be able to do things for myself, by myself. It feels good to do those things, so it shouldn't make you, or me, ever feel lonely or isolated. Life is meant to be lived alone. You share your life, but only you life your life.
Self-reliance means knnowng that if the entire world crumbles, you won't crumble with it. And, there are times in life when we feel on top of the world, and there are times when we're down in the lowest valley of our lives. But our goodness, our strength isn't how much we prove to others how successful we are, or how much we follow other people's ideas about how we live our lives, but it's about how much we live in the way we were mean to live. Living well.
And that means believing in ourselves, first. More than anything.
The tough thing about being grown-up, really grown-up, is the idea of self-reliance, being able to be stable no matter what happens. Self-reliance, to me, means being able to adjust to new hardships being able to spend quality time with yourself, and really love being with you, even when you screw up. It means accepting who you are, with or without all the things people tell you are valuable to have and cherish in this lifetime.
As people grow older, there are fewer relationships maintained in your adult life. This happens because a) people start getting married b) people move away c) people start dying. And all of those options can make life more difficult and change your world of relationships and social happiness. As an adult, you become accustomed to people changing, and changing in big ways. And those changes aren't just changes for them, they are changes for you, as well. Your social web can change you if you're not careful.
Rely on yourself. Be your own pillar of strength. Never rely on anyone, never trust anyone more than yourself. You will always be putting your own self-value at risk. I speak from personal experience...I have spent the last couple years thinking that being in Canada means that I can rely on people in a different way than when I lived in Belgium. What I have realized, more than anything, is that I had more the right idea there, than here. It always felt good to be able to do things for myself, by myself. It feels good to do those things, so it shouldn't make you, or me, ever feel lonely or isolated. Life is meant to be lived alone. You share your life, but only you life your life.
Self-reliance means knnowng that if the entire world crumbles, you won't crumble with it. And, there are times in life when we feel on top of the world, and there are times when we're down in the lowest valley of our lives. But our goodness, our strength isn't how much we prove to others how successful we are, or how much we follow other people's ideas about how we live our lives, but it's about how much we live in the way we were mean to live. Living well.
And that means believing in ourselves, first. More than anything.
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