TOW: Pride Versus Prejudice

I have spent a lot of this week thinking about what it means to be proud of what you do.  And more than that, when you screw up, and say something you didn't mean, or do something you didn't meant to do, how much pride do you have before you apologize? 

I recently have come to the conclusion in my life that people, even if they're wrong, expect me to apologize for any fight that I start/am involved in.  And I'm not talking about an isolated incident, I'm talking about a general trend I'm noticing.  Part of me wonders if I'm just surrounded by hard-headed people (partially true) or whether I am just always wrong whenever I get into a fight/tiff/argument with someone.  (Probably partially true, maybe even 100% true?!!) 

I wonder why I like hard-headed people so much?  Maybe I just like people who see things in  black and white.  Or maybe I'm even more stubborn and hard-headed than everyone else around me.  (Probably also more than a little truth in that.)

Very recently, there have been several incidents where I've been accused of fault.  Or rather, I have no idea what I'm at fault for and I'm not sure what is going on.  And it's weird, because I feel like I'm more than willing to apologize if I think I'm in the wrong...is this not true????  (Someone might have to tell me this...) I'm being pulled into drama that I don't understand...and frankly, I just want my life to be back to normal...whatever that means.

When it comes to our own pride, do our own principles matter more, or would we be happier for swallowing our pride and giving in to making peace, or when does keeping a conflict alive matter to us, matter to our principles? 

I guess for me, I just need to know that I'm not compromising my morals....which sometimes I think people expect me to do, to keep peace.  But peace isn't only social...it's internal.  And I'd rather have internal peace than social peace.

Does that make me pig-headed?  Maybe...but I have a right to my own feelings, opinions, and thoughts.  And sometimes I say the wrong thing, it's true, but I guess I feel like I always try and stand by whatever I say and do, even if I can't always do that as eloquently as I like.