TOW: I had the time of my life

I spoke with my good friend Liz about a man I met in a bar last night.  He was 38, single, and he was dressed in the same kind of clothes I was wearing.  We chatted outside for a while, and the conversation, while pleasant, revealed one thing to me. 

This man was not happy with the phase of his life. 

Perhaps he hadn't yet discovered how to be a man in his late 30s.  Without trying to be rude, I do think the man sincerely wished he was still in his 20s.  I can see myself feeling that way when I am his age.   Maybe.

But I don't think I will be.

Over the last few years, I have had a bad habit of going to bars, having quite a bit to drink, making out with strangers, getting random phone numbers, etc.

It was fun. I was going through a couple of rough things in my life and quite frankly, I needed some form of release.  Cue on booze-loving friend and a whole lot of drama later, and you have a good summary of my life in Toronto.  It was hard.  There were a lot of very hard things.  I did what some people do when things are very hard.  You try to forget who you are, at least for a little while, and try to live a life of adventure that doesn't make you worry about who you are versus who you should be.

It's a bad way to live your life, though it is a very good way to get over things you never want to have in your life ever again.  And I think I'm in that place...now.  After 3-4 years.  It was a time in my life, and that time is now passing.  I do believe another time in my life is coming on.  And I'm happy to move towards it.

I believe every time in our lives has an expiry date. We can only be a certain way for so long.  If we take too long, our peers leave us behind.  Which can be ok, sometimes.  But most of the time, people who are out of sync with themselves make us uncomfortable. 

I am now much more interested in living the kind of life that advances meaning, learning, and prestige in my life.  For a while I needed adventure.  Now I need a certain amount of stability to couple with my spirit of adventure.

And I am searching for those things that will make my life stable and yet still interesting.  It's a struggle, but changing life phases is part of what life is all about.

And also, in a way, part of who I am.  I'm someone always changing.  And I kind of like that about myself.