A Poem

A Magpie in Flight

 

If I die and when I die, 

I hope my heart bursts with stars.

I hope the children with kites and caterpillars

See my constellation true.

 

And if I die and when I pass, 

My soul might visit Mars.

A warring planet of hope and mystery

So that the adults could know I who I was at the last

And if I fall, and when I die,

Might my eyes be opened,

The light that strays like wanton ribbons

From devil's grasp to angel's heels

From earthly wants to history, defined.

 
And as I live, and while I live,

May the forces of time not concede

That I was a man, a lonely man

A bitter man of greed.

 

A birthday post

It's that time of the year again...my birthday.  It's a milestone birthday which is good.  But it's definitely been a year of ups and downs.

I tend to get moody around big birthdays, and go from being really happy to really melancholy.  I am an extremely lucky person with decent health and a good partner and a job and stable place to live.

But around birthdays (much like this one) I sometimes dwell on what I have versus what I wish I could have. Certainty in the future, removal of stress from rising costs, adult decisions, and changing relationships with friends and family.

Life is not easier as you get older.  "I think that I could have done more this year," that's what I always think almost every year.  I think about what I would do if there was two or three of me.  There is never enough time, and that's the thing that's always so tricky...time is tricky.

A reading on my birthday.

First Reading: Colossians 1: 21-23

21 And you, whereas you were some time alienated and enemies in mind in evil works:

22 Yet now he hath reconciled in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unspotted, and blameless before him:

23 If so ye continue in the faith, grounded and settled, and immovable from the hope of the gospel which you have heard, which is preached in all the creation that is under heaven, whereof I Paul am made a minister.

As I reflect, this Bible reading is very apropos for my birthday: because there have been moments of great darkness, thinking about the future, and being alienated is certainly a feeling I feel, the older I get.  I have come to realize I am an adult, I am no longer just a young person who can get away with doing as he wants, nor is that the kind of person I envision for myself.  

But one thing I have learned through this year, in the face of great nihilism: faith is central to everything that I do, and that is my mantra going forward into my adult years.  The mistakes I make are my own, but the good that I do in the world is a fundamentally through something greater than me.  What is good, what is real in this small blue world is about something other than me.

So, even in a year with great mistakes and many moments that were both sad and hopeful, I'm looking to the future.  I still feel there are great moments in time waiting for me.  There is much more good to discover in the world.

Niece's Graduation trip in pictures

                                      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was a really fun trip...but also tiring!  And sometimes feeling my age.  I don't recommend anyone over 35 going to a high school graduation!  Some highlights:

• Buying my nephew a bubble machine
• Fishing and getting caught by the lake cops 
  
• Buying a new suit that fits me well
• Spending time with each of my brothers and sister's in law doing summer activities
• Being scratched by Tyler and Tammy's stupid pitbull :/
• Alex catching a cold and feeling terrible
• Visiting Kevin and Cheryl after they had COVID (Once they were clear)
• Seeing my Grandma Vita

 

Alexia and Zac Brown Band Concert

This was my first live concert in a long time!

 

 

The place was packed, but we got there in plenty time to enjoy the VIP seats.  Thank you Alexia for the free concert.

 

 

 

 

It's funny because a year ago I couldn't imagine myself going to a live outdoor event like this and now I'm thinking about all the fun things I want to do that are big events that I have missed out on (just like everybody else!) for the last two years.

 

It got me excited for all the fun musical things that I could do in the future.  I love seeing live music and just dancing (badly!) along to the music.

 

They played some great tunes...everything from their normal hits to Harry Styles, Pink Floyd, Weezer....it was a lot of fun!

March 26 Lenten Reflection: Lazarus in the cave

I listened to a Lenten sermon on death and evil as part of my Lenten reflection yesterday (on top of the sermon I heard at church).  They were both very different.

The church readings I heard had a different feeling than the sermon I listened to.  The readings in church were joyful, and a sense of what was coming: the end of Lent.  An end to fasting, the beginning of the rising from the dead, both in season and in eternal life.

The Lenten sermon on death was perhaps a reflection on the priest's state of mind.  He had just returned from his mother's funeral, and when he spoke about Lazarus coming back to life as one of the miracles of Jesus, it probably had some personal significance in relation with his family life.  Indeed, it was a deep and moving reflection on the language of the Bible and the language of the apostles.

There is a tension in the Bible, in the old testament, which is still a challenge for Christians: how do you make sense of the world of suffering of Job, in light of the wisdom and advice that promises doing good will end in good things for you as a person?  How do you understand the relationship of evil in this world, which can seem to triumph in many circumstances, with Job being the perfect example? 

Because Jesus opened up the eyes of the blind man, he rolled away the burial stone, and brought someone back to life, and probably Jesus could have done many more miracles.  But how many miracles remove the evil of mankind?  How many things that the crowd that follow Jesus seem good, how many more miracles are required for repentance?

 And when I say repentance, I mean how can we turn away from evil, and towards good unless we are contributing something towards the good of the world to-be.  I read a very good novel recently, called Half-A-Soul, which commented on the problem of systematic evils, of historical evils that are too big for one person, too big for one moment in time.  It is only our ability to right small evils in front of us, to sew up and connect the broken and frayed strings in our own lives.  

And I think Jesus comes to a similar answer for us.  Jesus did not come to wave a magic wand, to solve all problems immediately. Indeed, there is a system in place for goodness to thrive, but it is not immediate, because the system of goodness itself is not for gratification.  Neither for the gratification of the crowd or the individual does the goodness of God exist: instead, salvation is an experience that can only be found in broken spirits, in quiet moments within the storm where God resides.  Because God did not come to gratify or to make us grateful, but to save.

March 18 Lenten Reflection: Samuel's search for David

Today is the 4th Sunday of Lent, and one where we slowly approach the Easter mysteries.

The readings today are about the Samuel searching for the king of Israel, David, and Jesus healing the blind man.

Samuel is an interesting character in the Bible narrative.  A child of the tribe of Levi, his pregnancy was a miraculous pregnancy, and his name means 'The name of God.'  Samuel would go on to be the judge of many people and problems, and the last.  For Samuel was sent by God to find who would be the King of Israel, and he found David, after Jesse presents his seven sons as worthy to be king, Samuel asks if there is another, and when David appears, Samuel knows David will be the beginning of the line of kings, into the New Testament.  And when Samuel anoints David with oil, "the spirit of the LORD rushed upon David" and from that point on, his life changed, and he had his first true experience of God.

In the New Testament reading, Jesus cured the blind man on the Sabbath.  And the Pharisees, who were suspicious of Jesus' miracle (perhaps rightly so) said that performing miracles on the Sabbath is a sin. But the crowd replied 'How could a sinful man have cured this man?"  And I take from this what the crowd really meant was 'How could it be a sin to make a man whole again and restore his life?"

And the Pharisees denounced this miracle, and the family of the one who was blind, so that they were thrown out of the temple.  Jesus meets them on the road, and says to them:

"I came into this world for judgment,
so that those who do not see might see,
and those who do see might become blind."

And at this point, Jesus is saying that he plans to upend the structure that currently exists in the world, and he is pointing out the problems that exist in the temple:

 Some of the Pharisees who were with him heard this
and said to him, "Surely we are not also blind, are we?"
Jesus said to them,
"If you were blind, you would have no sin;
but now you are saying, 'We see,' so your sin remains.


All of this connects very well, to today' second reading, which is Eph 5:8-14:

Brothers and sisters:
You were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light,
for light produces every kind of goodness
and righteousness and truth.
Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness;
rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention
the things done by them in secret;
but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
for everything that becomes visible is light.
Therefore, it says:
"Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will give you light."

 

And here the darkness and light imagery (which has caused much trouble and confusion throughout Christian history and doctrine) are used to explain sin, seeing, and blindness.  For the ones who sin are blind to the truth, and the ones who are anointed, are listening and following the calling of God, shall see.  And the process of seeing involves a kind of spiritual learning of know what is pleasing to the Lord and what is not.

I was particularly taken with the second reading today, and felt it's complexity as it was read.  Because part of exposing things to the light is not to speak of them, or to argue people or activities that are fruitless, but instead to focus on what produces a spiritual harvest.

March 12 Lenten Reflection: The Water of Eternal Life

 Today's reading focused on the Samaritan woman by the well, which is one of my favourite scripture readings of all time.

Perhaps the reason I like it the most, is that it's a dramatic piece of history.  The woman he meets is someone who has had many husbands, and lived with many men.  But Jesus doesn't condemn her, he only asks for water to drink.

This is a peculiar interaction because Jesus was breaking several social taboos to speak with her.  And the woman was probably an outcast.  She was a Samaritan, who Jews did not normally associate with (sort of a social norm of the day, I suppose) freely.  If he was someone important, he would have thought her beneath him.

Her conversation with Jesus went from being quite suspicious of Jesus' intentions, to asking other people to come see the prophet that was in town. She was never cynical or rude to Jesus, but to me this is one of the most interesting conversations in the New Testament.  It shows Jesus speaking with someone who has a lot on her mind, and perhaps might be considered a modern woman in her community, someone who was maybe a little different than the women in her community. (After all, she was on man number 6, you have to respect that tenacity to find the right one...I'm going to assume they were divorced as opposed to not alive.)

 But the description of the water in this passage, and the wording of this passage is one that is the basis for many songs and poetry:

"Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

And this description is in the middle of his banter with this woman, who gave some serious answers, and some not-so-serious answers.  But this phrase always sticks out to me: that people are thirsty, have deep desires, but those deep desires cannot be filled so easily by simple earthly pleasures.

And even though those earthen desires will still exist, we must look onwards, as vessels of souls, to where we are heading, and our orientation towards God.  It is about love, and truth and acceptance.  We are often the woman at the well, asking for God to take our cares away from us.  But God is not there to remove our cares, but only to remind us of the importance of our communities and the value of love shared and amplified through the living water.

 

 

March 5 Reflection for Lent: Go to the mountaintop

 This Lent I'm putting some thought into a reflection based on the Lenten mass each Sunday.

 

This week's reading focuses on going with Jesus to the mountain to pray. (Matt 17: 1-9)

After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. ² There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. ³ Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.

⁴ Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”

⁵ While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

⁶ When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. ⁷ But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” ⁸ When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus.

⁹ As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus instructed them, “Don’t tell anyone what you have seen, until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”

 

The homily focused on both Genesis 12: 1-4, about Abraham and God's promise to Abraham at 75 to make him a father to a great nation of people.

Abraham had to have faith in God's promise to him, even though it would take a true miracle for that promise to come true.  Just like for us, we have prayers to God that we hope will come true, as silly as they might seem to other people.  Most of us are waiting for a miracle.

On the other hand, the apostles who traveled with Jesus to the mountaintop were in the presence of God, and it was not joy to discover the power of Jesus, but it was terrifying.  To come face to face with with something and someone unexpected, even if it is goodness itself, we are often afraid of the future.

And Jesus gives a promise as well: there will be something to proclaim, of a better future, once Easter has passed.  For during these dark times of Lent, we have only the promise, and the terror of an uncertain future.

But one of the tenets of Catholic faith is to hold onto the faith we have, the faith we put in God, to pave a future that brings us into glory: a promise of goodness and holiness fulfilled.

But we can only see that promise begin, in the middle of darkness, on a lonely mountaintop.

Visit to the Aga Khan Museum

Just a fun photo dump of finally checking this museum off my list.  A really great place, I really enjoyed the galleries here:

This horn looked like the horn blown from Ragnorok, the Gjallarhorn,.

This crest was just so FREAKING COOL.  People were so inventive in how they created their own kinds of art and meaning! It was like something right out of a fantasy novel.

This rub inlaid thingamajig was made by taken molten gold and PRESSING the rubies into place.  I loved it.