Sustainability

Well, I must say, I've had about 10 hours sleep in the last three days, and I'm starting to wear down a bit. =D

On the bright side, I saw a movie last night. I have been going to more movies lately.

Lately, I've been thinking about how different things are becoming the more time I spend here. A year ago, I wouldn't prefer to go to a bar or out for drinks, ever. If I could avoid it, I would go somewhere else. I also wouldn't go to a movie unless I really, really wanted to see it. (And that has only ever happened with about four movies. And even then.) Nowadays, I watch movies, hang out in clubs, bars and pubs until four in the morning drinking nothing but ice tea...I'm bad, y'all. BAD.

I think the difference is that I'm learning about all the culture that normal university people experience and live through. (Which I somehow side-stepped for a good 4-5 years.) I talk about movies, and I hang out with the theatre peeps in smoke-infested clubs, and there is nary a doughnut shop to be found in Belgium where I would be if I could. (of course, they have bakeries up the wazoo, so maybe they're kinda unnecessary.)

Overall, it's nice to live here, even if it is a little different. I had a good talk with someone from the theatre last night about living in a different culture. I think what I have been forgetting is that just because I have a bad day in the place I live doesn't mean I live in a bad place nor that I'm a bad person for having a bad day because I'm big, loud and dumb and not Belgian. Being an international student, I shouldn't expect to fit in so easily, nor should I be so stressed that I am often going to be in situations where I can't seem to make things turn out the way I wanted. I have been stopping myself from enjoying myself when I should have been having a better time. There's nothing worse than making yourself miserable over things you don't need to be miserable over. Like no grocery stores being open on Sundays. (I need bread and some meat. LOL.)

But I think I have been expecting too much from a culture that is very different than mine. Living in a different place has a lot to do with adjusting to what you don't understand or would never normally do, and I guess I'm starting to learn. It's hard for someone who likes gradual and not immediate change. Like me with my hyper-OCD-ness. I'm trying to let go and be all good chi about it, but it's hard to let go and just let things happen instead of trying to make everything fit into place the way you like.

Of course, I'm still getting little to no sleep. Some things never change, eh?