Final Exam Results

Well, I did fine, although I had total exam dementia until I got my results. I wasn't very happy with all my marks, (especially my Descartes paper mark, but I didn't think it was going to be a good mark, anyways) but I should be fairly satisfied, I guess, since many, many people in my class failed at least one exam this semester. I came close to (in my mind, anyways) failing an exam or two, although my results aren't anything like that, but I feel that if I was marking myself, I would had failed myself on at least three classes. Actually, the only one I wouldn't have failed myself on was my Plato exam, and that one I would have given myself a 12 out of 20. Yeah. Maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself, but I have space madness from exams, so don't listen to anything I say.

Anyways, I was one of a handful of people to 'deliberate' on time (ie. finish the year completely without having to retake exams or without having deferred any exams) so that is positive for me, although I feel really bad that so many people failed. I skipped going to the 'proclamation ceremony,' which is basically where the dean reads out everyone's results in front of everyone else, and whether you passed or not. I skipped that because a) I disagree with that on many, many, many levels b) I didn't know if I had passed all my exams and I didn't want to have to pretend not to be an emotional wreck if people pitied me/were having a good time c) It was really, really hot, and proclamation was slated to be a 4 HOUR ORDEAL. AND THAT WAS ASSUMING IT WENT THROUGH ON TIME. As IF I was going to sit through that. Next year when I have to because I'm graduating I'll do it, but certainly not before...and heck, maybe not even then.

Don't get me wrong, since I love pomp and circumstance of many, many kinds, but when I find it to be morally, pedagogically, and pragmatically reprehensible, I just can't bring myself to do it. (I mean, really, it was thirty-five degrees out with high humidity, and they did it in a small room with about 45 people. And, yes, there is nowhere in this city that has air conditioning.)
I just went for the BBQ afterwards, where all the free food and drink was. THAT was a blast, since everything was free, but most people there were either kinda sad (because they failed/deferred exams, so their summer looked pretty dismal) or kinda still stressed out since most of us hadn't been done exams for hardly a week. I was stressed still, and also, I kinda just wanted to be alone, even though I had been alone for a long time studying, it was alone with 'severely mentally unstable because of exams' Brennan, and not the 'Brennan who is normal outside of exams' Brennan. Being around the institute just reminded me of school stuff, and that made me sad because really, I wanted to be outta there as soon as possible to ignore the need to be there with school related stuff. I mean, really. I've been in exams since the end of May. I got my results on July 5. It drove me crazy.

Anyways, I'm glad it's over, and now I am going to Patrick and Montse's wedding tomorrow, and I have generally just been having a good time, although sleeping very, very little since the whole thing started with the gift buying and the traveling around with them and showing around their family friend who came to stay during their wedding. Ugh. OK, I need at least 7 hours tonight. I hope everyone is well, and I'll update more when the wedding bells have rung for some very good friends of mine.