I just thought I would share a post I found VERY randomly in the online classifieds...
I'm sorry about the litter box (too scared of retribution!)
Reply to: pers-897355001@craigslist.org [?]Date: 2008-10-28, 7:13PM EDT
I'm really sorry to anyone who may have been injured or emotionally traumatized when a gigantic covered litter box flew from the big garbage bin, where it belonged, onto the sloping ground many feet below that goes into the parking garage.
You see, I got this litter box when my younger cat was a kitten, and he liked to throw litter everywhere, so I got a covered one to try to save my feet, bed, couch, floor, etc, from litter contact. It worked pretty well until a few months ago when I brought home another little bundle of joy, this time an adult cat from the Humane Society. At the Humane Society they don't let you touch the cats until you adopt them, so I didn't know exactly how fat this cat was then. To make a long story short, she is morbidly obese. So basically, she is too fat to climb into a covered litter box. I bought a regular one, half-ass cleaned the old one, and put it on the balcony because I didn't feel like pushing an elevator button and going outside to throw it out.
So, said litter box has been on the balcony, where I keep everything I don't want to deal with, for over three months. The other day my niece came over with her mom and nona, and she wanted to go on the balcony. But her mother wouldn't let her because, amongst other things, there was a gigantic litter box covered in pidgeon shit that made the balcony a very dangerous place to be. After months of procrastination, I finally felt enough shame to do something about the balcony.
So I cleaned it up today, now it looks less like an open air crack den. Because the garbage shute doesn't accept gigantic litter boxes, I took it outside to put in the big garbage bin. Except this was easier said then done because APPARENTLY downtown Toronto gets TORNADOES. I am a small woman, and had to fight not to be blown away where ever it is that tornadoes take cows, mobile homes, people like me, skodas and fiats, etc.. But there were fully grown men fighting to stay on the ground too!
Anyway, I tried to put it in the space between the garbage bin and the concrete wall, but the wind blew it against my shin instead, which really hurt, and it seemed like the wind was just going to push it against me forever more, so I figured I should try to put it in the bin. The litter box itself is light, but the wind made everything seem heavy. While I used all my might to throw it over into the bin, a cascade of urine soaked litter that had been deeply embedded in the litter box blew into my face. To be honest, I don't know if it was urine soaked litter, or if it was dust and dirt from the road that blinded me. Anyway, I died of fear, rather than live to die of whatever disease it is that cat litter gives women who aren't pregnant. In my blind state, I pushed against the wind to escape, and as I moved away, I heard, and looked back in time to see the litter box rise from the bin like a phoenix out of the ashes, float senselessly in the air for a few seconds, and then smash down into the parking garage.
Assuming that I was about to go blind, I didn't turn back to retrieve it. The wind would have made that impossible anyway.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, sincerely sorry, (mortified actually) that this happened. To all ye who may have suffered as a result of my cat's obesity, please accept my apologies. Also if anyone wants to make donations so I can put her on prescription diet food, instead of the iams diet food that doesn't work, then I will gladly accept them.
Location: Too scared of retribution!
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