TOW: Missed Chances

I've decided that a good way for me to keep my blog from jumping the shark for the third time is to start serializing what I do. So, my new thing will be to write a thought of the week. And I will keep it at five paragraphs. (short like a celebrity marriage!) So today, let's talk about missed chances.

I am in the middle of a life transition, from youth to adulthood, from being a student to being a worker bee, and from being an irresponsible, lazy son-of-a-gun, into a goal seeking, money hungry butt-face. Nice change. (Maybe I was always a big butt-face, though.)

I feel like it's usually at these times that we feel like we missed a chance somewhere else. Did I really forget to kiss that someone special or interesting when the moment presented itself? Was I really too tired to have a serious conversation with someone that needed it? Did I just miss the last bus? As if I'm getting a taxi--you think I'm made of dollar signs?!?! NO, I do NOT have a jacket, THANKS FOR ASKING.

I digress.

We often feel we missed chances when we actually notice change is happening. We wake up one day and say, "Yep. I'm thirteen." Next day, "Yep, I'm twenty." Suddenly, "Yep, I'm twenty-five, almost thirty...someone kill me."

It's like a rollercoaster ride. We start of slowly, and it's easy enough to enjoy, but then you start going up. At these times we say, did I really maximize thirteen? Should I really have used acne cleanser that had Frankenstein on the label? What about twenty? How much sex should people have at twenty? Why didn't I finish my degree instead of just working at the Country Kitchen for four years? What the crap happened? Suddenly the rollercoaster ride starts going faster. Not as much fun once people start throwing up over the side.

The reason we fear missed chances and sometimes regret them is not because we missed them, but because we realize that we are changing. As we become older, we change. When we catch ourselves, red-handed in the cookie jar, and say, "Aha! I know you, you're the me I might be in about five years!" We get scared and maybe even a bit depressed. We are scared of the person we might be in other's eyes, and we are scared of the person we may not be able to be. Possibility suddenly changes into inevitability. I can't become different. This is who I am. I missed my chance.

The truth is, perhaps, that we think eventually we can't change, or even worse, that we are happy leading ourselves down a miserable path. Suddenly, we really do start missing chances because the past makes us afraid of the future. I'm afraid I haven't had enough experience in life to say what you should do to transition from this sad ending into a happy ending because, I mean, it's not like I hit my mid-life crisis yet. I'm saving that for a hot red sports car...maybe?