TOW: Who Matters in Your Life?

I've been really blessed since moving to Toronto because some of the people I really love are in this city.  I can name a few. 

Lately, though I have been feeling like the real question is how I can be a good friend to people around me.  The answer to that used to be easy.  A good friend is someone that listens to your problems, takes care of your needs, helps you with tasks and particpates in activities you like.  Friends used to be people that were like you.

What I have found, now, in the future, is that your friendships change because you are constantly changing.  You don't always have interests to bring you together with other people anymore.  Suddenly your best friend from high school or university has been married or has kids.  The people you truly want to see regularly live in different cities.  Maybe someone decides to live in another country.  Suddenly everything is different.

What I am finding, especially as I age, is that friendship is more than a matter of choice, it's a matter of staking out who you are.  Will you be friends with people who constantly let you down, or do you choose people that are reliable?  Are you closer to your family instead of your friends?  One or two close friends, or a large circle of people you can see to keep yourself busy?

It's always a mystery as to why we choose the people we do in our lives, especially when being away from those people often makes us feel pain or anxiety.  Sometimes I'm sure we all feel it would be better if we never made friends, never had relationships, never got involved in messy life issues of other people.  But the truth is, we do choose, and we must choose, to be friends with people every day.  There are very few choices that matter so much in life as choosing our friends, and choosing them wisely.  And we must respond to their needs because the whole point of being good, and becoming better people is by being strong for ourselves and for others when we need them.  Personal strength isn't something that grows on trees.  We cultivate it.

I am very lucky to have the people I have in my life.  And, for every hundred rude people that have tried to ruin my day, it only takes one true friend to brighten up my life.