TOW: Maybe It's Me

You know, my friend Chris and I have long talks involving the phrase, "Maybe It's Me."  You know this phrase.  It's that moment, almost straight out of every bad romantic comedy, where the protagonist finally falls to pieces, and whatever cute lie/hilarious scenario they were involved in, (often in hopes of making someone love them) has finally let itself out of the bag, and the main character can only stand there and say, "Man, I screwed up."

It's that lightbulb moment where the main character finally decides, wow...maybe it IS me.  The problem...it's me.


I have been spending a lot of time lately trying to cut those moments out of my life.  I have had a bit of a rollercoaster over the last 4-6 months of my life, a lot of uncertainty, and more than anything, a feeling of "Wow, I screwed up," seems to have followed me around for the last little while.  I have finally gotten to the moment in my personal romantic (well non-romantic) comedy where I've realized I'm starting to do and be things that aren't really me.  It's SO not maybe me.   It is me.

The answer to all this is, of course, that life goes on, even after you screw up.  And the beauty of screwing up is that, hopefully, you learn some kind of lesson that can change you for the better without changing all the positive things about yourself you have come to love, over and over again. 

But, like most things in life, there's no easy answer.  There's never enough of what you need, when you need it to keep you satisfied with your personal self.  And, even when there is, there's always something just around the corner to rain on your parade and start the whole process over again.  We never seem to escape, and even if we could, we probably wouldn't.  We seem to love our own personal dramas.


But maybe it's just me.