TOW: Dating and Relationships

Dating is complicated.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine, who said, "I'm glad I'm in a committed realtionship with someone because I'm terrified of dating again.  It's a good thing I'm in love [with the person I'm with]." 

Another friend of mine is constantly having issues with a new boyfriend.

The rest of my friends are terminally single (comme moi!) or married.

The more I think about it, I wonder...why do we date anyways?

I've been on a couple dates recently, some planned, some not-so-planned (don't ask...sigh) and my reaction has been, "What am I doing here, again?"

I have had fun, but no, I haven't really been attracted to anyone, or even, like, cared, really.  For me it's been a social exercise. (Which should say a lot about me to begin with.  Heh.  Ah well.)

I have gone on a lot of dates/planned a lot of dates in the past,  (With about somewhere between 50-60 people over the last four years) sat through a lot of awkward coffee conversations, had more than my fair share of horror stories.  In fact, minus one or two pleasant surprises, I think it would be fair to say my dating life is sort of like going to the zoo.  You meant to just peruse the attractions, but you end up among a bunch of baboons and apes for no particular reason you can recall.

We always seem to go through these sort of exercises, minus those who marry their high school sweetheart or equivalent therein.

After all the lost cash on cheap martinis and fake emergency phone calls to get out of awkward situations, why do people still do it?

I kind of feel like people date because they won't lose hope, even as they hope against hope. 

More than anything, I think everyone is afraid of feeling alone.  And it's hard not to once you get to the age where everyone starts getting busy and unable to return your phone calls.

Even more than that, it has been described to me as that kind of feeling you feel right before you go to sleep.  It's cold, but not from the temperature, but it's cold because it feels empty and you maybe wonder if there should be a person laying beside you.  Or maybe at least a cat.  (Or, if you're really desperate somewhere between ten to twenty cats.  Because, well, it worked for this lady)

I think humans are really resilient, really social creatures.  And to us, even those who are fairly introverted, being tired because we're with someone is always preferable to being alone all the time by ourselves.  We have social needs. 

And I think those social needs are what propel all of us to reach out and communicate with people, especially people we can call 'on our side.'

In more ways than one.