TOW: Direction

Today I heard an amazing story told by one of my favourite priests in this city.  I've quoted it in full below:

”I’m reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the “Man of the Century.” Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets.
“It wasn’t there. He looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.

“The conductor said, ‘Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket. Don’t worry about it.’

“Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

“The conductor rushed back and said, ‘Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t worry, I know who you are; no problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m sure you bought one.’ Einstein looked at him and said, ‘Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going.”

Having said that Billy Graham continued,

“See the suit I’m wearing? It’s a brand new suit. My children, and my grandchildren are telling me I’ve gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion.\

“You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I’ll be buried.

“But when you hear I’m dead, I don’t want you to immediately remember the suit I’m wearing.

“I want you to remember this: I not only know who I am. I also know where I’m going.”

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This homily was very relevant for my current life situation. I have accomplished many of the goals I set out to do in my life in the short, mid, and long term.  And now, given this place in my life, I do not know where to turn next.  And the consequence of uncertainty for me is a kind of anxiety I am learning to live with.  It is an uncomfortable position for a millienial, since we are people who are given too much choice in general.

To me, the most important thing is a direction, a drive.  These tasks are just upkeep, and upkeep is not growth.  And I am someone who needs to be growing, moving forward.  I don't want to stay as I am, I want to be better than I am.  I enjoy my life on the whole...but I am in a place where I need to define the meaning that is in my life.  I need to think a little harder about the direction of my life.




I am starting to redefine where that drive is coming from, and also what it is that drives me in life.  I have reached the point where I believe in myself, but I am still working on finding out how to turn my own beliefs into reality around me.  And, that, perhaps, is the next step in my journey as an adult.