Evil Post

This is a very funny video. HILARIOUS.

Exams

I have lots to post, but it's 3AM.

3AM I TELL YOU. I NEED TO STUDY TOMORROW. STUDY STUDY STUDY.

Anyone who understands Lacan is my friend. And my enemy.

Don't mind me while I go hallucinate for a while.

...

No one understands psychoanalysis jokes. Not even me. Or Freud. He's my un-pleasure.

Eh heh. OK, I have to stop, or I'm going to do that laughy-sobby thing you do when you're somewhere between cleaning and single-handedly robbing a bank with a cheese-grater.

Here

I am home and happy. No worries. I'm not dead. At least, not until finals are finished.

A picture of me and my friend Montse, while we played with my new camera and caught up on life in general. As Montse says, she hasn't built a trust relationship with my new camera, so she's afraid she'll break it as well. I'm afraid of the same thing, I think, but I'll deal. =)

2:30 A.M.

It's late.

I should be in bed.

I'm downloading music onto my ipod.

This is so not great, but I'm half packed, and I have visits and extremely important things to do tomorrow. *THE FLAILING*

I leave tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about that. There's so much left to do, so much I would have like to have done...but I think I'm happy that I at least got to do some of it. I can't do everything perfectly, but I gotta do what I gotta do...like my friend Karen says, a break is a break...or it's not a break, really. I can't see everyone or do everything, but I can sure try, can't I? Anyways, I'll be back in Belgium soon, and then hitting the books. Or they will hit me. Either, I imagine, will do just fine.

Flights

Hi again, well, it's been unreal lately, but I have to go back to Belgium. I miss a lot of people there, and I miss exercising regularly and I miss not being forced to over-eat. =)

Anyways, my flight plan, for anyone who would like to know:


Flight Itinerary

Saskatoon (YXE)Tue 9-Jan 200718:45
Edmonton, Edmonton Int'l (YEG)Tue 9-Jan 200718:55

AC898
Edmonton, Edmonton Int'l (YEG)Tue 9-Jan 200720:25
London, Heathrow (LHR)Wed 10-Jan 200712:00 - Terminal 3


London, Heathrow (LHR)Wed 10-Jan 200714:35 - Terminal 1
Brussels, Brussels National (BRU)Wed 10-Jan 200716:50


In other words, I leave on the 9th at 6:45pm from home, and I arrive at 4:50 on the 10th in Brussels. Will post more once I can access my home computer and grab my sketch board, although I don't promise anything until after the 18th, my last final. It's going to be painful until July, I've determined, schedule-wise.

Happy New Year

I'll post more later.

FLIGHT TIMES

Hi, for family and anyone interested, my flight times

from Brussels to Frankfurt 845-945
Frankfurt to Toronto 1100-1400
Toronto to Saskatoon 1625-1900

In other words, I will be home on the 17th, Sunday at 7pm.

I will leave at 645pm on January 9th.

MSN=Creativity

Three very funny things I wrote in the last hour, or had a conversation about on MSN:

1)
Brennan says:
This week is so insane I could stick a label on it and call it crazy

2)
Sarah says:
i want the long story of why *this happened*, i just dont understand!
Brennan says:
I know
Brennan says:
It's so long, you could fit it in the Bible


3)
Sarah says:

well, how did the new play idea go?

Brennan says:

God

Brennan says:

I mean

Brennan says:

Good

Brennan says:

Wow, that almost came out wrong

Sarah says:

righto

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Well.

It's finished.

I don't know how to feel. I'm so tired that I have no emotional strength left. It was all I could do to deal with tasks, and not how people felt. (Although considering everything that happened, I think I handled the feelings side of things pretty well.) It was something that really mattered to me, but in a way I can't explain just how important, or why it was important that I try to help these people put on a play for themselves, to act...I felt similar after the last play. The last play I was sure of its success, at least a little. This play was a success because of random acts of I-don't-know-what, it seems, but also because it was good in its own way. Not perfect, but alright. I was satisfied.

The things I wasn't happy with:

1) Communication with me from people who should have been communicating with me, and putting the wrong people in charge of things. Sometimes my mistake, and I take respsonsibility first. There are so many mistakes that I made that as soon as the day of play came I knew what they were, and I wanted kick myself. And my legs don't bend that way, which is really too bad. And nothing is more frustating than seeing where communication broke down. Especially when it didn't need to be. Totally my fault.

BUT.

There is a point where I just have to believe that people are capable. And near the end, people almost had it, almost acquired this skill of being independently capable. Next semester. I believe they can. =) And I know that unless I leave a margin for failure I'll never turn other people into leaders. So, to solve this, we are going to really work on that next semester. I relied too much on older members of the theatre to do everything. That was my biggest mistake, I think. I should have trusted and taken the people who I thought were capable from the start and used them properly. I really wasted the HR this semester.

2)Technical stuff. This was a disaster. I should have been micro-managing this much better. Again, because I know a lot about how lights and sound work, I know the best thing is to stay out of the way, and things go much faster.

BUT.

There is a difference between staying out of the way, and making sure tasks are done to your satisfaction. Even if I don't know everything that I should about technical stuff, I know what works and I know what I want. And I should have been clearer about this. This would have made my life a beautiful thing. And we would have had extra time. Maybe I could have eaten a real meal today. Since I didn't eat anything except cookies, a piece of bread, candy, and chocolate. By the end of the day I was so spacey I had to ask every single person to repeat what they said at least once, sometimes twice. That's how tired I was. It was great. It would have been worth filming, my complete and utter inability to understand after many, many hours of, just, everything. =)

3)The space. I will never, ever, ever ever play a play from a small stage like that again. Not even if they pay me. Never again.

BUT.

It was a free stage. =)

4)That we could have charged an entrance, and we would have probably have made some great cash. Given the financial...issues this semester, this would have made things a lot better. However, this is not so much a problem of me, as me believing this gave us a bigger crowd. Maybe yes, maybe no. Overall, we wait and see for finances.

5)Being unsure of how many people to expect. We actually ended up with a full house. Nice.

BUT.

Advance tickets. I couldn't find a way to put everything together for the audience in a way which wouldn't be annoying because I had literally no idea how many people would come. Also, Pangaea, as much as I love it, (now and then) is not a venue for theatre. And frankly, I don't think the building can take many more plays there. It's like being forced into a little can of sardines for the audience. And it smells similar to that. No one can see anything, there are too many people, too close, and there's just no way to be happy and sitting and comfortable and have a big audience there. Literally, no way.

The big picture:

Overall, this play was inherently more successful than it deserved. Whether it was as successful as last play, I don't care. The fact that I took people with a much lower level of english, and, for the most part, single-handedly molded them all into little actors and actresses and people who could put on a play, against all odds. And, believe me, there were so many odds, that frankly, it shouldn't have worked. It should have been horrible. There should have been people crying. Like me. But no crying. The people in the play were smiling, laughing afterwards, and people all said they had a good time out of the many I talked to. I acted in two of five scenes, and I managed to have peanuts thrown at my head by the end of the night, so all in all, that smells like success to me. To turn around a dying murder mystery, and for everyone to come together and make a small play in two weeks that can be something we can be happy to be in or your money back and crucify Brennan, it's a success. (It's also a miracle. Thank the Jesus.)

I think the biggest success I had was that I didn't crack. I really should have cracked. I should have gone nuclear. I should have told everyone to stuff their Christmas stockings up their butts, and then murdered everyone with a hatchet. I should have. I was absolutely crazy today, and I honestly could not have been less sane, but the tasks were finished to a degree that was acceptable, and that was acceptable. It was so disorganized that I despaired, and I quote the ever-wise Colin when I say, "I don't have the words to describe the despair on your face, but if I did...", but it could have been much worse. SO. Stuff it up your butt.

It's funny like that. You never know how capable you really are until everything around you becomes incapable of being any more of a disaster. And this play was the epidomy of disaster. The only way it could have been more of a disaster is if I had lost it. Although I'm sure most people said I lost it, I tried my best in some ways. In some ways, I didn't because I just couldn't care anymore or I would have just given up. So, I am proud of myself, and I feel alright about everything. I just directed a play. It was a success. We-ird.

Anyways, I should have been asleep hours ago. Frankly, all I wanted to do today was sleep. And kill. But I would have taken sleep first. Then kill. Now, I just sleep. And we have dinner sometime this week. With theatre people. We will.

Busy?

Well, this week several exciting things happened.

The most exciting was that I am using IE 7.

I cant' decide if I like it or not. It looks like it was made specifically for Firefox users, so that they come back to the lost fold of IE users. Seems pretty lame. Also, all the buttons are so small I can't even use them properly. And tabs, while nice, are so anti-Internet Explorer. I kinda liked all the annoyances that the previous version had. They grew on me.

Well, my internet just gave out AGAIN. I will take this as a sign. I am tired anyways.

My copy of MS Word is buggy and the spell and grammar check have finally gone completely random.

Bad, bad timing. This does not bode well for thesis editing.

On the bright side, my hard drive is fairly stable, and I have a jump drive finally! =D

Milestone 1

Well, today, I finished my first 'course' with one of my english students. (40 units, for a total of about 30 hours or so.) It was kinda sad...I really liked working with him so today was kinda like saying goodbye since I've worked with him for about three months.

However, my boss called and said he wanted another course with me...so I can't be that bad of a teacher, so I feel good about that. I feel like at least one thing is going right....now all I have to do is deliver quality English. Eh heh. Heh.

Sigh.

Sometimes I feel like a language machine.

Weird, eh?

In other news, I think I want this year to go slower, and I feel like it just keeps going faster. Nothing seems to be slowing down anymore, and last year felt like everything moved so slow I couldn't make it move faster if I tried. It's funny, I kept wishing for things to move faster last year, and now I keep wishing for things to move slower. Like, MUCH slower. However, I'm sick, so now I am forced to take time for myself. I literally can't do much more than walk from the bus to my house this week, so any actual work I'm not allowed to feel guilty for not doing. All I feel like doing is sleeping all the time. I got my appetite back today, so I think I'll be better by tomorrow or Saturday, so I can go full to the max for the next two or three weeks. Good stuff.

It's a Mystery

I did.

After doing several scenes and realizing that it wasn't going to get any better, at least not within two weeks, we are now moving in a different direction. Instead of trying to put on an hour and a half murder mystery, we're going to put on some short sketches, maybe 15 minutes to25 minutes, and have a party. The sketches are pretty much finished, we'll do a dress rehearsal next week, and that's it. No more stress for me about theatre.

I feel a lot better, and I think it was the right thing. That didn't make it any easier, but it did mean that I can feel at least somewhat justified. I owe a lot to my friends, especially, for their support more than anything. The last thing I want theatre to be is the reason my friends all hate me. And the second last thing I want to is try and put on a play that I'm not happy with, and that I think doesn't do justice to how good of actors the people in theatre are. We were halfway through scene 2, it was 8'0'clock, and the first two scenes, which were written, were supposed to be quick, and played within a minute or three. It took two hours to do two scenes which were each approximately 10 minutes long. We still had three other scenes we were going to play that night, two of which required choreography, where the music wasn't chosen, the moves not yet in place nor practiced, and the costumes were nowhere near ready. I thought that writing out a script point by point might make it easier, and we tried that as well. No dice. It was too hard, I think.

I guess I really learnt the lesson of 'keep it simple' today...I asked too much of myself and put too much on other people for such a short time. On the bright side, I think I still have my friends, and I still have a lot of my pride.

Update

This isn't a cry for help or anything, but I've been too busy to do any of my personal necessaries lately, like updating on my blog or make cartoons and things like that. Next week should be better, I think. I need to go to bed so bad it hurts, so I think I will, since even this was an hour I couldn't spend messing around. (Most of the hour was spent thinking about how much I'm going to pay for it later.) On the bright side, I updated my blog, so that's positive. There are so many things I want to say, but the time, the time. =P Anyways, Once I am back home for Christmas, I will be happier, I think, but until then, I think I'll be considering sleep a luxury.

I feel like I should post something.

There.

I feel better.

It's all Evil

You know, searching for evil on the internet which is not stupid is hard. Here are some recent searches which have yielded:

Blogging evil-spam and how be to evil with it.

My mom is evil-A blog literally about how a daughter thinks her mom is evil. It even has fiery ratings of death on how evil each post is from the e-mails her mom sends her. I think I get why she feels this way, but still, dude, her blog is 'My Mom is Evil.' MY MOM IS EVIL.

How evil are you?-Nothing like a little evil quiz rating to start your day. I'm sick of doing these, so I skipped this one, but try it out. The first question asks you what browser you're using. Clearly the sign of evil.

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT THERE ARE SERIOUS ACADEMICS THAT TALK ABOUT EVIL NOT IN REFERENCE TO GEORGE BUSH???

Thank you, rant now finished.

Back to work.

Although a three-minute sketch won't do it...please, remember that today is a day to remember those who died. They don't celebrate this holiday everywhere in Europe and the world. So, I remember for what I can, and I hope you all had good Remembrance Day ceremonies in your own way.

Happy Remembrance Day.

Well,

I just discovered that I have Windows Movie Maker.

This may have Master's Thesis implications because this is SO FUN.

Although I don't have any more videos I can make because my camera is really bad at it, I'll have to find another way to make movies. Maybe I'll do a live show of....something.

Anyways, I'm going to mess around a bit on the Net, and then off to bed. There's a lot I need to do this week. And I was supposed to do all of it today.

But I slept until two instead, and thus did nothing except read one article. Granted, it was 30 pages, and about as moist as Melba toast, but still. One article. Not cool.

Lameness

I just posted my first YouTube video.

I am so lame.

On the bright side, it was for a good cause. Birthday present.

On the negative side, I stayed up until 4 in the morning because I didn't want to think about theatre. Because I just ran the second meeting in a row all by myself, and I think I'm doing a terrible job. By myself. And it's stressing me out a bit.

That's lame.

On the neutral side of things, I have a thesis to write, starting this week.

That could be negative or positive at this point.

Also on the bright side, I'm halfway done two of my art things, I think. Not so lame.

I...should go to bed. OK. Bed. Going. To bed.

Halloween!

Halloween was really fun, and I had a really good time. Here are some of the pictures from the Pangaea Halloween party.






This was us making Jack-o-Lanterns. We made about 15 of them. It was insane. There was pumpkin everywhere. But I'm really happy how mine turned out. I made about 4, but this one was probably the one that was the saddest pumpkin there...literally.







This is Alejandro, a very close friend of mine, who's dressed up as a real witch...the kind with the flippy cell phone, as he calls it.




These are the Italian/Spanish evil santa troupe. There was also a matching Chinese ghosty sheet troupe. Very cute. Apparently these scary santas are from some movie I should have seen. I'm behind on my horror movie watching. Really.






This is Bart, dubbed, DJ Spooky Monster by Colin. Colin thought he was soooooo smart. Typical. Bart eventually took his shirt off. He had plenty of paint on his chest as well. Also very typical of Bart. (The randomly taking off his shirt, not having paint all over him. Uh, I guess.)




This is Jeanne, the police officer. Even the fact that she's holding a toy gun is scary and makes me want to run far, far away. The fact that Jeanne is supposed to be the long arm of the law and she is only 5 foot nothin' makes me think that this particular arm of the law won't be able to reach much.




Montse and Patrick dressed up themed as Frankenstien and bride of Frankenstien. They're blowing up balloons for decorative purposes. Or for spare parts. Eh heh.

As for the decorating, it actually turned out really excellent. It leterally looked like a different place. We had a lot of people come, which is really great, since this was a fundraising party for Janus Theatre.





Overall it was a really great party, and I can't think of the last time I enjoyed myself so much on Halloween. Much better than last year, I think.

OK, later!