A Poem

A Magpie in Flight

 

If I die and when I die, 

I hope my heart bursts with stars.

I hope the children with kites and caterpillars

See my constellation true.

 

And if I die and when I pass, 

My soul might visit Mars.

A warring planet of hope and mystery

So that the adults could know I who I was at the last

And if I fall, and when I die,

Might my eyes be opened,

The light that strays like wanton ribbons

From devil's grasp to angel's heels

From earthly wants to history, defined.

 
And as I live, and while I live,

May the forces of time not concede

That I was a man, a lonely man

A bitter man of greed.

 

A birthday post

It's that time of the year again...my birthday.  It's a milestone birthday which is good.  But it's definitely been a year of ups and downs.

I tend to get moody around big birthdays, and go from being really happy to really melancholy.  I am an extremely lucky person with decent health and a good partner and a job and stable place to live.

But around birthdays (much like this one) I sometimes dwell on what I have versus what I wish I could have. Certainty in the future, removal of stress from rising costs, adult decisions, and changing relationships with friends and family.

Life is not easier as you get older.  "I think that I could have done more this year," that's what I always think almost every year.  I think about what I would do if there was two or three of me.  There is never enough time, and that's the thing that's always so tricky...time is tricky.

A reading on my birthday.

First Reading: Colossians 1: 21-23

21 And you, whereas you were some time alienated and enemies in mind in evil works:

22 Yet now he hath reconciled in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unspotted, and blameless before him:

23 If so ye continue in the faith, grounded and settled, and immovable from the hope of the gospel which you have heard, which is preached in all the creation that is under heaven, whereof I Paul am made a minister.

As I reflect, this Bible reading is very apropos for my birthday: because there have been moments of great darkness, thinking about the future, and being alienated is certainly a feeling I feel, the older I get.  I have come to realize I am an adult, I am no longer just a young person who can get away with doing as he wants, nor is that the kind of person I envision for myself.  

But one thing I have learned through this year, in the face of great nihilism: faith is central to everything that I do, and that is my mantra going forward into my adult years.  The mistakes I make are my own, but the good that I do in the world is a fundamentally through something greater than me.  What is good, what is real in this small blue world is about something other than me.

So, even in a year with great mistakes and many moments that were both sad and hopeful, I'm looking to the future.  I still feel there are great moments in time waiting for me.  There is much more good to discover in the world.

Niece's Graduation trip in pictures

                                      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was a really fun trip...but also tiring!  And sometimes feeling my age.  I don't recommend anyone over 35 going to a high school graduation!  Some highlights:

• Buying my nephew a bubble machine
• Fishing and getting caught by the lake cops 
  
• Buying a new suit that fits me well
• Spending time with each of my brothers and sister's in law doing summer activities
• Being scratched by Tyler and Tammy's stupid pitbull :/
• Alex catching a cold and feeling terrible
• Visiting Kevin and Cheryl after they had COVID (Once they were clear)
• Seeing my Grandma Vita

 

Alexia and Zac Brown Band Concert

This was my first live concert in a long time!

 

 

The place was packed, but we got there in plenty time to enjoy the VIP seats.  Thank you Alexia for the free concert.

 

 

 

 

It's funny because a year ago I couldn't imagine myself going to a live outdoor event like this and now I'm thinking about all the fun things I want to do that are big events that I have missed out on (just like everybody else!) for the last two years.

 

It got me excited for all the fun musical things that I could do in the future.  I love seeing live music and just dancing (badly!) along to the music.

 

They played some great tunes...everything from their normal hits to Harry Styles, Pink Floyd, Weezer....it was a lot of fun!

March 26 Lenten Reflection: Lazarus in the cave

I listened to a Lenten sermon on death and evil as part of my Lenten reflection yesterday (on top of the sermon I heard at church).  They were both very different.

The church readings I heard had a different feeling than the sermon I listened to.  The readings in church were joyful, and a sense of what was coming: the end of Lent.  An end to fasting, the beginning of the rising from the dead, both in season and in eternal life.

The Lenten sermon on death was perhaps a reflection on the priest's state of mind.  He had just returned from his mother's funeral, and when he spoke about Lazarus coming back to life as one of the miracles of Jesus, it probably had some personal significance in relation with his family life.  Indeed, it was a deep and moving reflection on the language of the Bible and the language of the apostles.

There is a tension in the Bible, in the old testament, which is still a challenge for Christians: how do you make sense of the world of suffering of Job, in light of the wisdom and advice that promises doing good will end in good things for you as a person?  How do you understand the relationship of evil in this world, which can seem to triumph in many circumstances, with Job being the perfect example? 

Because Jesus opened up the eyes of the blind man, he rolled away the burial stone, and brought someone back to life, and probably Jesus could have done many more miracles.  But how many miracles remove the evil of mankind?  How many things that the crowd that follow Jesus seem good, how many more miracles are required for repentance?

 And when I say repentance, I mean how can we turn away from evil, and towards good unless we are contributing something towards the good of the world to-be.  I read a very good novel recently, called Half-A-Soul, which commented on the problem of systematic evils, of historical evils that are too big for one person, too big for one moment in time.  It is only our ability to right small evils in front of us, to sew up and connect the broken and frayed strings in our own lives.  

And I think Jesus comes to a similar answer for us.  Jesus did not come to wave a magic wand, to solve all problems immediately. Indeed, there is a system in place for goodness to thrive, but it is not immediate, because the system of goodness itself is not for gratification.  Neither for the gratification of the crowd or the individual does the goodness of God exist: instead, salvation is an experience that can only be found in broken spirits, in quiet moments within the storm where God resides.  Because God did not come to gratify or to make us grateful, but to save.

March 18 Lenten Reflection: Samuel's search for David

Today is the 4th Sunday of Lent, and one where we slowly approach the Easter mysteries.

The readings today are about the Samuel searching for the king of Israel, David, and Jesus healing the blind man.

Samuel is an interesting character in the Bible narrative.  A child of the tribe of Levi, his pregnancy was a miraculous pregnancy, and his name means 'The name of God.'  Samuel would go on to be the judge of many people and problems, and the last.  For Samuel was sent by God to find who would be the King of Israel, and he found David, after Jesse presents his seven sons as worthy to be king, Samuel asks if there is another, and when David appears, Samuel knows David will be the beginning of the line of kings, into the New Testament.  And when Samuel anoints David with oil, "the spirit of the LORD rushed upon David" and from that point on, his life changed, and he had his first true experience of God.

In the New Testament reading, Jesus cured the blind man on the Sabbath.  And the Pharisees, who were suspicious of Jesus' miracle (perhaps rightly so) said that performing miracles on the Sabbath is a sin. But the crowd replied 'How could a sinful man have cured this man?"  And I take from this what the crowd really meant was 'How could it be a sin to make a man whole again and restore his life?"

And the Pharisees denounced this miracle, and the family of the one who was blind, so that they were thrown out of the temple.  Jesus meets them on the road, and says to them:

"I came into this world for judgment,
so that those who do not see might see,
and those who do see might become blind."

And at this point, Jesus is saying that he plans to upend the structure that currently exists in the world, and he is pointing out the problems that exist in the temple:

 Some of the Pharisees who were with him heard this
and said to him, "Surely we are not also blind, are we?"
Jesus said to them,
"If you were blind, you would have no sin;
but now you are saying, 'We see,' so your sin remains.


All of this connects very well, to today' second reading, which is Eph 5:8-14:

Brothers and sisters:
You were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light,
for light produces every kind of goodness
and righteousness and truth.
Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness;
rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention
the things done by them in secret;
but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
for everything that becomes visible is light.
Therefore, it says:
"Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will give you light."

 

And here the darkness and light imagery (which has caused much trouble and confusion throughout Christian history and doctrine) are used to explain sin, seeing, and blindness.  For the ones who sin are blind to the truth, and the ones who are anointed, are listening and following the calling of God, shall see.  And the process of seeing involves a kind of spiritual learning of know what is pleasing to the Lord and what is not.

I was particularly taken with the second reading today, and felt it's complexity as it was read.  Because part of exposing things to the light is not to speak of them, or to argue people or activities that are fruitless, but instead to focus on what produces a spiritual harvest.

March 12 Lenten Reflection: The Water of Eternal Life

 Today's reading focused on the Samaritan woman by the well, which is one of my favourite scripture readings of all time.

Perhaps the reason I like it the most, is that it's a dramatic piece of history.  The woman he meets is someone who has had many husbands, and lived with many men.  But Jesus doesn't condemn her, he only asks for water to drink.

This is a peculiar interaction because Jesus was breaking several social taboos to speak with her.  And the woman was probably an outcast.  She was a Samaritan, who Jews did not normally associate with (sort of a social norm of the day, I suppose) freely.  If he was someone important, he would have thought her beneath him.

Her conversation with Jesus went from being quite suspicious of Jesus' intentions, to asking other people to come see the prophet that was in town. She was never cynical or rude to Jesus, but to me this is one of the most interesting conversations in the New Testament.  It shows Jesus speaking with someone who has a lot on her mind, and perhaps might be considered a modern woman in her community, someone who was maybe a little different than the women in her community. (After all, she was on man number 6, you have to respect that tenacity to find the right one...I'm going to assume they were divorced as opposed to not alive.)

 But the description of the water in this passage, and the wording of this passage is one that is the basis for many songs and poetry:

"Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

And this description is in the middle of his banter with this woman, who gave some serious answers, and some not-so-serious answers.  But this phrase always sticks out to me: that people are thirsty, have deep desires, but those deep desires cannot be filled so easily by simple earthly pleasures.

And even though those earthen desires will still exist, we must look onwards, as vessels of souls, to where we are heading, and our orientation towards God.  It is about love, and truth and acceptance.  We are often the woman at the well, asking for God to take our cares away from us.  But God is not there to remove our cares, but only to remind us of the importance of our communities and the value of love shared and amplified through the living water.

 

 

March 5 Reflection for Lent: Go to the mountaintop

 This Lent I'm putting some thought into a reflection based on the Lenten mass each Sunday.

 

This week's reading focuses on going with Jesus to the mountain to pray. (Matt 17: 1-9)

After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. ² There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. ³ Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.

⁴ Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”

⁵ While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

⁶ When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. ⁷ But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” ⁸ When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus.

⁹ As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus instructed them, “Don’t tell anyone what you have seen, until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”

 

The homily focused on both Genesis 12: 1-4, about Abraham and God's promise to Abraham at 75 to make him a father to a great nation of people.

Abraham had to have faith in God's promise to him, even though it would take a true miracle for that promise to come true.  Just like for us, we have prayers to God that we hope will come true, as silly as they might seem to other people.  Most of us are waiting for a miracle.

On the other hand, the apostles who traveled with Jesus to the mountaintop were in the presence of God, and it was not joy to discover the power of Jesus, but it was terrifying.  To come face to face with with something and someone unexpected, even if it is goodness itself, we are often afraid of the future.

And Jesus gives a promise as well: there will be something to proclaim, of a better future, once Easter has passed.  For during these dark times of Lent, we have only the promise, and the terror of an uncertain future.

But one of the tenets of Catholic faith is to hold onto the faith we have, the faith we put in God, to pave a future that brings us into glory: a promise of goodness and holiness fulfilled.

But we can only see that promise begin, in the middle of darkness, on a lonely mountaintop.

Visit to the Aga Khan Museum

Just a fun photo dump of finally checking this museum off my list.  A really great place, I really enjoyed the galleries here:

This horn looked like the horn blown from Ragnorok, the Gjallarhorn,.

This crest was just so FREAKING COOL.  People were so inventive in how they created their own kinds of art and meaning! It was like something right out of a fantasy novel.

This rub inlaid thingamajig was made by taken molten gold and PRESSING the rubies into place.  I loved it.

 

Being Thankful

 This is a late Thanksgiving post, but I have a lot to be thankful for.  

And, when I think of it, I didn't think that I did before Thanksgiving.  But sometimes you just need a wake-up call, and I feel like I got one, by getting into a bike accident. 

 

 

There's nothing like a near serious moment to make you remember what's important.  It could have been a lot worse, thankfully it was most minor cuts and bruises and a ripped grocery bag..

• I'm thankful for Alex, who always puts a smile on my face, and is my support when I need it.  Also we make lots of fun meals and laugh together!
• I'm thankful for close friends like Liz and Alexia and Sarah who add sunshine to my life and are a great support network
• I'm thankful I'm healthy, I have a roof over my head, my family is well
• I'm so, so lucky to have such a good circle around me.  It's something more than I could ever expect as an adult
• I'm happy I have friends all over the world...people I think about and care about all the time. 

 

Although not every year feels like it has everything in it, I'm still glad this year has been, in it's own way, one with more ups than downs.

Goals before my birthday

 I still have some time before my birthday, but well, I found my old goal list from the last 6 months.  So, here's a summary:

• Out of 27 goals, I have accomplished 9 of them, which sounds bad, but it isn't!  Some of them were very long goals.  (eg. complete two courses on animation...I taught myself how to animate via computer programs the last six months)
• 5 of those goals I look at now, and they're not priorities.  So, it's really a 22 goals list
• Out of those 15 goals left on the list, 5 of those are in process.  And one of them is pretty much completed with this blog post...post more blog posts! :)
• The ones that are left of the 10 goals, I would say half were 'moonshot' (long term) and 5 were 'fun goals' - fun to complete if I had time or if the mood struck me

 

So overall, I feel I did really good!  A lot of my goals in the past six months have been about expressing my creativity, and finding how to work more time for art and reading into my life...which has been really good!  These are really healthy hobbies that help me feel good about myself, even if I'm not a great artist.  (Nor will I ever be, and that's perfectly fine with me.)

 I will probably make another list of goals before 40 GASP...choke....ugh, I can barely say it!!!! But I will certainly look at my personal goals again in a year from now.  

 

 

St. Marie Among the Hurons and other adventures

 Today Liz and I went and visited St. Marie up by Penetanguishene.  It was a reconstructed pioneer settlement that feature Wendat and French Jesuit history.

 

 The inside was a bunch of small buildings that they tried their best to resconstruct after the settlement was burned to the ground.  (And I can see how...the wooden building had lit fires everywhere, even today!)

 

 

This was the longboat house that was filled with smoke.  I almost had an asthma attack!  It was like I ended up in a bingo hall from the 90s.

We went across the road to visit the Canadian Martyr's Shrine.  Wow, there were tons, and TONS of tourists there.

I enjoyed the outside of the building, but there were a lot of things that I found a bit strange there (like the 17 life-sized prayer rosary circles, it was just odd to me.) but on the bright side, I bought a new wooden rosary that says it comes from Bethlehem.  Who knows if it's true, but it's really nice!

Afterwards, Liz and I went and found the first location of a Catholic Mass in Ontario.  I think this was more what I was expecting when I visited the Martyr's Shrine.

It was very peaceful and out of the way.  Afterwards we had dinner with Alex, and just generally it was a good time.  What a fun day!

Camping

 

 

We went camping this past weekend.  Some highlights:

 

• Sarah's dog got sprayed by a skunk, so she had to go home and get the dog groomed the first day of our trip
• We ate very well!

 

• I read two whole books while we were there.  This was mainly because our planned afternoon activity (swimming) was a big no because there was an ecoli warning in the water. 
• It was really hot, but thankfully could sleep most nights.  Except for the last night, Liz's air mattress deflated.

Overall, it was a really fun time, and a really nice getaway.  I just like being around trees, in a forest.  It gives me a feeling of calmness.  

Bye, bye Beatrice Street

 

 

 

Where I lived for 6...7...8 years??  I don't even remember at this point.  I think I moved here in 2014, shortly after Alex and I started dating.  I have many positive memories from living here.

 

This desk is where I spent many, many days and nights doing creative work, or during the pandemic, spending time with people online.  I got really used to that slanted ceiling!

 

 

 

 

It sounds so silly, but I can't believe how much time I spent in this one little room, especially over the last 2-3 years of the global pandemic! Some highlights from living at Beatrice:

 

• The neighbours next door would have screaming matches at least once a month.  I knew a lot more about them than I thought I would ever know about my neighbours.  When their kid was still a baby, I would get woken up by crying in the middle of the night. 
  
• When anyone used the kitchen, all the heat would go to my room.  The top floor was an extra five degrees hotter than the rest of the house.  Adding evening meal prep to the evening sun in the summer, and it was like living in an oven
• If I turned on the window a/c, the room would vibrate. The landlord upped the cost of the laundry machines to $3 per wash and per dry after I started using an a/c unit.  (Was still worth it!)
• In the summer, I woke up many times with bugs in my bed, from the window in the summer. Usually a beetle or spider.  
• In the winter, the walls were so cold the paint would crack. There was no insulation in the house, and I bought a heated blanket, which was the best purchase I made after the a/c unit.
• I had a total of 12 roommates over this whole time of living here, 3 different ones at a time. There was a golden age of living with Celine, Brad and Nathaniel that made me very happy...I have so much love for them. The next best was living with Julie and Roberto, and for a time, Simon.

 

Us at Igor and Celine's Wedding. Igor in the background, to the right

 

• I had one roommate who said I typed too loudly....and complained that my phone calls bothered them and they couldn't focus on studying.  I got a pad for my chair, and then they complained that my chair still bothered them because it creaked. They also said they wanted to get a cleaner for the house and everyone to pitch in...when they were the messiest person in the house.  I also couldn't use the kitchen...because their meal prep took around 2-3 hours per day, and the fridge was always full of vegetables because they need fresh produce all the time.
  
• I had one roommate who gave everyone the evil eye, and I think was honestly really depressed.  They left their hair everywhere, and I regularly did all their dishes.  They still gave me the evil eye.  When they left, they dumped all their garbage on the lawn, and it got rained upon, leaving a sopping mess. I had to pay for special garbage bags to get rid of the mess they left.
• One roommate had an issue with alcohol, and left in the middle of December for another country. Their car was towed...they just left it on the street when they left Canada.  It sat there for over three months.
• The worst time I had was when I couldn't sleep for about six months last year more than 4 hours. One roommate went to bed at 3am, and one got up at 5am.  In between this, the people in the basement played drumming around 12am-1am.  I invested in very expensive ear plugs, which I learned, were really unpleasant to sleep with.
• I created a really sweet patio set up, and we regularly did really cool Halloween things.  One Halloween, a kid asked to come in the house to see it. He said it used to belong to his grandma, and he just wanted to see what it looked like inside one more time.
• The guys in the basement had cats, and one year they moved their cat litter right next to the air vents in the heat of summer.  I have never pleaded with someone more over text message to move cat litter for the good of my sanity.
• One year, a large animal died in the wall between the two houses in the middle of a very hot summer. Every time you walked into the kitchen, it smelled like rotting fish for two weeks.  The landlord's assistant said just to wait until all the flesh decomposed enough, the smell would go away.  (They apparently didn't care that there were animals in the walls)
• I lived right next to a 24 hour grocery store a five minute walk away. One of my favourite things to do (In my early 30s, I could never now) was to walk the store at 1am, and buy a bag of chips, and watch a show until 3am.
  

Despite all this, this was one of the best places I have ever lived.  I previously had been living alone, in two separate basement apartment, both which flooded.  This place was a chance to live with people, and find good people, and it turned out really well for me...I made lifelong friends.  When I first walked in, I had such a good feeling...and that good feeling turned out to be true.  It had a double sink, a dishwasher, and I could live on the top floor, which I happily did.

It wasn't a castle, but it was the next best thing to me.  And the rent was cheap, too.

 

The time to be the person we are meant to be

 

Time...there is never enough time.

 

I will never be an amazing painter.  In fact, I will never be an even decent painter!  I'm not sad to admit it...painting well requires a patience I don't have. It's fun, but I don't plan to ever be better than what 3 grade finger painting level.

But there are many activities, many version of myself, that I often shy away from, because it would require real effort into the things I really am good at.  The things that I dream about being.  As Alex would say, 'You want to be a writer, a poet, a director, a dancer, a musician....' because sometimes, I have too many projects on the go, and maybe not enough of them get done to completion.

But often I find in doing one creative project, I turn towards another thing, where I'm lacking a skill that would make my current project easier, and so on it goes.  The work of a creative person, or someone who enjoys 'the arts' never ends.  Because to even get to a level of 'good' we have to do millions of practice sessions.  And even with that, hopefully we have talent, connections, luck, etc. to turn it into something as a hobby or even a career.  Because the work I really enjoy isn't always the job that makes the most money.  And that part sucks a bit.

I read a really interesting book a while back....something my mom sent me.  In it, a man left a very good paying job, to be a local town hockey coach.  He earned very little, but he was living his dream.  In the next few years, he became the hockey coach of team Canada...something that wouldn't have been possible without personal sacrifice.  Sometimes dreams with real outcomes require hard, difficult changes to become the very best.

In a word: the time we most spend doing the things that matter, the choices that matter, will move us forward into the person we are meant to be.  We will not be perfect, but it is possible to be a version of ourselves we always imagined....if we make the time.

 

 

Easter 2022

A late posting of my Easter 2022 post.

 

This year's Easter message that stuck with me is 'Look at the day the Lord has made.'  Today we exist, and we exist to make each day a day filled with goodness and happiness.

As I reflect on the war in Ukraine, the worldwide disasters that continue to cause hardships, I think about the fact that I am lucky to be safe, to live somewhere safe from many of the harms that currently exist.

The celebrations throughout the world of traditions of faith during this month, I hope for blessings for all those who see the sun shine today.  Some hopes for the future:

• I hope for a world that can grow and be healthy, that humans might lessen their impact on the world
  
• I hope for world peace, peace amongst people who need it
• I hope for an end to the climate crisis, which will affect all the children growing today, all the young people today.

 

This Easter was special for me, in that it was a year that looked towards the future.  For me personally I hope for new things, better things for 2022-23.

A Lenten reflection on sacrifice

 God, may Your light guide my day, and your spirit bring me peace. Amen.

-Lenten prayer

 

“Then Job replied to the Lord: 2 “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. 4 “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ 5 My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. 6 Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job 42: 1-6

 

In Lent, Catholics make an effort to sacrifice.  When we say sacrifice, I think most people think it means to give up little things (or big things) in an effort to orient ourselves towards God.  This practice is so important as part of yearly Christian formation: because at the root of good spiritual practice is discipline.  And without discipline, there is very little relationship to be found with God.

When I was young, there were many cartoons, media, etc. that talked about the end of the world.  On those signs it always said "REPENT, the end is near!"  (Which is an odd stance in some ways, if everything is ending, it's like trying to do your homework at 12am before it's due the next day)  

Repentance, in the Lenten tradition, is not about asking for forgiveness at the last moment (though that is more than acceptable in the Catholic and Christian tradition, which is good).  Repentance is about right thought, right action, right orientation towards that which is divine.  And in our case, as Christians, orienting ourselves towards the divine course corrects many problems that arise through normal life.

 Ordinary Christians cannot move the waves of the world, nor is a triumphant return by fire desirable.  The way of the common Christian requires dedication and reflection, forgiveness and humility.  There is a reason that the path to heaven is called 'the narrow path.' It is very easy to slide into patterns that are bad for us and those that love us.

 Lent is a time of remembering the importance of taking away, so that what may be filled, is something better, and more appropriate.  

 

Thoughts on 2022

 It's a new year, and it has brought new feelings.  Feelings of hope and excitement for new things, because....it's a new year!  How can you not be excited?

I had some hope that COVID numbers might lower in December, but it's been touch and go for the start of 2022.  Apparently restrictions are supposed to lower in a week.  This seems really premature...I'm hoping that people stay safe.  Denmark's numbers from lowering restrictions aren't great. So we will see.

On the bright side, I have managed to see a lot of friends in the last two weeks (which was an odd coincidence with the news of lowered restrictions).  This had given me reason to smile, amidst some of the terrible world news.

Seeing the trucker convoy in Ottawa (and Toronto), it has disheartening to see Canadians saying things, and acting in a way that is misinformed at best. The beach pool party didn't bother me.  The idea that misinformation had spread so far while people were so isolated was really distressing.

Last week, Russia initiated war with Ukraine.  One of the highlights of this week has been people saying that they stand with the Ukrainians, even in small gestures.  Tiktok, Instagram, etc. are full of pedestrian-side accounts of war, of bombings of civilian districts, and people fleeing for their lives.  This is a very nice prayer that was shared on Facebook, so I'll share it here as well.

 

 

 

 I really do, in spite of the current events of 2022, believe this could be a good year.  Not everything is perfect, but there are great kindnesses happening, even in the face of great injustices and intolerance.

Some simple hopes for 2022:

• That COVID might become less severe
• For making good memories this year, with friends and family
• For finding time for artistic and creative pursuits
• For peace in our time, real peace, where bridges are built, not destroyed

Thoughts from a podcast on how to start new things

I'm listening to a really interesting podcast right now (via an instagram post) about how to start something that matters with Pat Flynn.  While the start is very meandering, the meat of the episode from 15 mins on is quite good.  Some highlights:

Peak Moments

Look into your past and ask yourself

• What moments (both good and bad) have been moments where I have felt really alive?  Really like my ability in that moment mattered?
• What experiences do I remember most that make me think about what I contributed to a situation, and do I want to do more of that?

Crossing the Threshold

• A rule: if you know how to start a project, but you don't know how to finish a project, that's when you know you've started a good thing
• You will be in the wilderness: Willingness to be in ambiguity.  
• Travel with the right people: You need different people to help you get to where you need to go. You can't do it as an individual, you need others
• Stumbling is part of the process: fall forward
• What's the risk if this is a disaster?

Celebrating Your Wins

• Why do I do this? Why will I grind into this?  (Remember your why, even if it is a small why)
• Celebrate your victories
• Have a mastermind for your goal: have a group of people that support your wins
• Does the top of the mountain motivate you?  Gamify how to win.  Does the process motivate you? Ask how you measure success in the journey, because sometimes you get what the 'win (the cookie)' is wrong.

Letting go of risk

• If you fail your ultimate goal, but the process was worth it? Then the risk is worth it (Doesn't mean zero negatives)
• Define success and define failure  
• Define the risk of here's what happens if you don't solve this challenge right now (if you continue to sit all day and not move around, you'll have poor health).  The opportunity cost of not moving forward
• Imagine that you've defined a worthy goal, and you decide not to do it.  What are the prizes/punishments of not doing it.  (There can be benefits!)
• You should triangulate goals all the time.  You can learn from those around you.
• Too often we get off the bus too soon
• Comparing ourselves to others who are already successful ignores the small wins we do on a daily basis as someone starting out

Was overall a very interesting and compelling podcast! 

Course on meditation prematurely cancelled

 The gentleman that uploaded it decided to private all the videos for some reason.  

There goes the meditation schedule!  

But honestly, I think the meditations went off track after a while, even though they started really interesting.

I think I might try redoing this meditation idea, but do it differently.  I don't think that this kind of meditation is for me...it was both quasi-spiritual and quasi-philosophical, and I don't think it's a good idea to mix the two.  Either start with some questions to examine a state of mind, or stat with questions to examine our relationship with God, but they don't really belong together.

Not to say philosophy, religion and spirituality don't belong together, (in truth, they do) but the emphasis should be on how to work through problem statements, and most of the time, basic meditation and philosophy of religion don't work well together.  (Also, this particular set of meditations focused on light metaphors, and I'm anti-light/dark metaphors most of the time for religion)

Anyways!  I need a new meditation practice, I guess?  I have been shafted by the universe apparently.