I just got back from acting practice a little while, and I am feeling a little better. We're slowly hashing everything together so that eventually we're going to have a play. I think it will work. Before I was absolutely paralyzed by the thought that we might be floating dead in the water before we even began, but now I think the play will be finished before we have to give a performance. LOL!
I know, I know. It's been weird, but the director was gone today, and we just went about things, and did scenes, and had good ideas that actually went somewhere, and I think everyone is starting to get a feel for the plot. It's really nice. I think it will be good.
I was having so much fun tonight because we were doing actual improv tonight, and less talking about what would be good and agreeing and disagreeing, but working with what we had, and doing the best we could with a small stage and a few people. Anyways, it was really enjoyable, overall. It reminded me of why I like to do acting. The laughter, the not caring what goes wrong, the just trying again and doing it over if you didn't like it, and just having a good time. It was fun. I like the energy. It's positive. I miss that. Belgians are polite, but they're not theatre people in the way that North American people are theatre people. Belgians are polite, kind, people. But they are also fairly closed off, I think. They're not very good at letting people in the inner 'circle of trust. ' (A movie reference if any of you have ever seen "Meet the Parents.") So, theatre is a really good way to be open, and to yell and be crazy and other things that Brennan likes to do. Mostly yelling. And being crazy. And some more yelling.
Europeans are too quiet. I don't think I have ever seen a loud and laughing group of people at a cafe before. Hardly anyone LAUGHS here. They're all so serious. HOW DEPRESSINGLY EUROPEAN. Whenever I go out with my friends, we are easily the loudest people there. (Which, granted, is a North American stereotype.) But, I think this is the reason is because North American people are less subtle about their happiness. It's not drawn out. It's bursting from them at the seams. They accept the vibrancy of life in a different way than most European adults do here, I think. I see more people here with sad faces than happy faces. Their happiness seems quiet. Mine, obviously, is loud. How to reconcile? For a while I felt like I should fit into this subdued model of how to act, but I don't think I can. I feel like I'm forcing a square block into a circle hole, and I AM that square block. Hey, it's hip to be square, but nobody likes trying to break the mold and themselves at the same time. I don't think I can try to be so subdued anymore. It doesn't make sense. It's not very, well, very ME. Not that I know a lot about me, but I don't think I function well, uh, quietly. I suppose I should stop trying to adjust to people, and I think I should maybe let people adjust to me. I thought the whole idea of going to another country was about learning about how to live the life of another country. "When in Roman, do as the Romans do." But does that really make perfect sense? Don't we pave over the good parts of ourselves if we buy into this too much? I'm an international student, but I shouldn't try and give up what I like about me just to fit into the quiet Belgian lifestyle. There should be some middle ground. It should be 50-50. I am going to do some things that you think are crazy, and you are going to do some things that I think are crazy. Maybe that's as good as a middle ground as we get. Because if it's too much to adjusting we lose what we had to begin with, which was a distinct culture, and a distinct set of people, and we lose ourselves somewhere in there, too. Maybe intercultural dialogue doesn't have to be painful. Maybe it can be fun, and also good without getting rid of what we like about ourselves to try and fit in. I'm certainly going to work on being more me, and less, uh, not me. Yeah.
No comments:
Post a Comment