Play Over!

Well, it's finally done.

And I had a blast. And it was a big success. We had about 150 people crammed into Pangaea. Thankfully, one of them wasn't the fire chief. =D It was pretty amazing.

You know, I think that I'm happy that it's over because that means that I can do work and focus on the important things in life.

Or, to translate that, life is now going to be existential and boring and stressful and filled with non-Brennan style fun until the end of the year. ;)

I really was happy to do this play, but I guess I'm feeling a large gaping hole since it's finished. It's hard to explain, but there it is. A big gaping hole. It's funny, most everyone was just sitting around, hanging out after we had finished the play, cleaned up, and we just sat around at 2 in the morning. I think we didn't want to leave...because that meant it REALLY was over. And by over, I mean OVER. Most international students here only come for a year or a semester. Those here for a short time usually finish their exams before the normal exam period starts so they can go home sooner. So approximately 10 of the fifteen theatre members that we spent together putting together one of the best shows I think I'll ever be in, and I would hazard to say the best, will be gone in two weeks, and I'll probably never see them again.

Things like that stress me out. Mega.

Leuven is a beautiful place to live because everything is new, and there is never a short of people to meet. The problem is that every single person who goes to university here is in serious transit. It's rootless. And being without roots is a hard thing to be.

I think that's something that has changed since I've been here. I know that school is important, and that's why I'm here, but, really, I don't think that life is a one-track deal. People like that aren't any fun, and it's unhealthy. (Re: Everyone I go to school with has their own particular brand of neurosis. I put myself in the 'generally too happy to be in philosophy and that's a bad thing' category. I'm pretty sure that's where other people in the program evaluate me as.) I've become more understanding that things change, and that people have to stand on their own two feet. Including me. And that's hard.

I guess I'm just wondering how I'm going to stay sane until the end of finals. (Which go until June 29th for me. LOL.) It's difficult when you know that the ground you're standing on is shakier than you think. I have no problem with working hard...I just have a problem with not knowing where my friends are...literally. But I guess as you grow up, people move away, and no matter how hard you try, you can't keep them forever. You just have to know you're still as close as you can be, just in your heart and mind rather than in person. And while it's all hokey and stuff, I guess it's still something new for me...I'm not usually the one who moves away...I'm usually the one who stays where I came from, and doesn't go anywhere. I kinda like being like that. Travel is interesting...but not knowing what to call home creates a type of uncertainty that I'm still reeling from. Overall, I think I'll manage, and I know it's not the end, but even Buddhists have a community. Humans need some place to grow their gardens.

I had a great time, and I hope I don't forget how great it was.

I'll post some pictures a little later.