Sigh. Merry Christmas.

Leaving in like, how many hours? 5 or 6? I need to sleep? What's that? Anyways, I am finally on my way, my special trip I have been planning ever since I left Belgium. Before I go to bed, I thought it best to pause for a second, and recap on a couple of things.

First, I was very sad to leave Belgium. So it will be interesting to see what I feel about it coming back, as a stranger. (Or 'een Butenlaander' I think it how you say it...) I have put a lot of time into contacting a lot of my friends in Belgium, and hopefully I will have a chance to see most of them. I probably will miss a few here and there, but I will try and see them all.

Second, travelling in a new country is always stressful. I am praying and hoping there are no plane crashes, no stolen anything, and no major stresses in Italy. Mixed language and grumpy foriegn people no problem. Lost passport or missing credit card, I will simply die. Up and hang myself from the nearest church belfry (which should be too hard considering we will be in Rome. Ha. ha.)

Third, this will be my first time in my life missing Christmas with my family. I don't know if I'll like it or dislike it, I imagine it has ups and downs attached. But I will be back to see them after the 25th, quite soon, and it has been good talking to my parents preparing for this trip. They've been really great about it.

Even though things here are falling apart around my ears here, (don't ask, and/or I'll tell you around Christmas) I am happy that I have so many good friends, abroad and even a few in Toronto, which are definitely of the strange and unique variety. (Minus Sarah D, who is probably the most normalizing individual I ever met.)

I wish you all the best in the season, and the best for the New Year. Happy Holidays, and I'll try and update photos as I go, but it'll be a challenge. I hope you all have safe holidays, and remember, everything in moderation except giving! =)

Cleaning up

Well, I finally put away and dispersed all my Belgium stuff that I just had laying around.


...

It was HARD.

=/


I didn't realize how emotional it would make me, but I felt like I was going to be physically ill. I didn't think that all that 'junk' (and, believe me, it's a lot of junk, Ralph can attest to that, he watched me pack) would mean so much to me, but it did. Even just to put it in a box, outta sight and mind, was harder than I expected, and certainly not fun. It felt more like I was a string being ripped into tiny little threads, one piece at a time.

I guess I just didn't want to face the idea that I was never going back. I know I don't have to think about it that way, but it's a chapter finished, maybe, so I guess the past becomes the past and I have to move on. It's ok for me that I'm not in Belgium, but it's sad for me that Belgium will never be the same again, in the same way for me.