It's funny how much things can change in a year.
I think back to last summer, and how different my life was then versus now.
I'm not going to lie. I used to hate Toronto. And I would be lying if I said I'm now in love with Toronto.
Instead, I feel like the longer I live here, the more I come towards a happy medium, something a little closer to normal, a little farther away from the crazy sort of way things were when I first arrived. More than anything, I really feel like things keep changing for the better...and that the more I focus on the little things that make me happy and successful, the more life around here seems to normalizes. In a city like Toronto, where crazy is the new black, that's saying quite a lot. You just have to find your bubble, I guess.
I often compare living here to living in Belgium. It's funny, living in Belgium, I should have felt worse. I couldn't get a full-time job there, couldn't speak either national language with any skill, and I spent a lot of time alone, and screwed up a lot while I was there.
But Belgium was where I first became an adult. Everything that had anything to do with becoming self-sufficient, and taking care of myself. Everything was great. Every challenge was fresh, and no words can describe the adventure of living by yourself in a country a million miles from home. It's liberating and exhaustingly fun all at the same time,
Toronto, instead, was kind of a step backwards. It was a big city (big minus) it was unfriendly in a Canadian sort of way (bigger minus) and I tried my best to make good choices for myself, and a combination of circumstances and attemps to 'do the right thing' ended me up in so much more trouble that I almost never saw the end of it. (Biggest minus) My goals have really changed in the last couple of years, and sometimes it was a really hard change to face.
But with time, and my late twenties (soon to be early thirties, eep) comes a different kind of understanding of my life, and the phases in it. Where in my twenties I was running at a break-neck speed towards a goal that eventually stopped existing, I have a feeling my thirties (if I make it there, you know, don't get hit by a bus and all that) will be about taking my energy and trying to make something that's going to last. And part of making things last relies on accepting the present for what it is and leaving the past in the past, all while having hope for the future. Because we all need hope.
The one thing that has really hit me over the past two weeks or so is that you can avoid facts for only so long before it becomes symptomatic of a bigger health problem, physical or otherwise. And the fact is that you own your own life. You can love it, or hate it. You can find every crazy, embarrassing thing that is wrong about your life a total drag, or you can accept these things for what they are, a type of growing pain we always seem to experience, again and again.
And accepting you for being you, at the present moment, is no easy thing. But I think it's a worthwhile exercise.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
TOW: A Family of friends
I've been thinking a lot about what makes people happy in general.
After having a long period of time away with my family, I realized that whenever I have been really happy in life, I have always managed to have a family of friends to rely on.
It seems to me that what really matters in life is the size and quality of your social structure. And that quality can be evaluated based on how 'familial' your friends are. Yes, some of them are like the cousin you never wish you had, but on the other hand, we love people in spite of their flaws. (Indeed, sometimes it's people flaws that make them charming, not their better qualities.)
As I get a bit older now, and live so far away from my family, I'm starting to see the benefit, as well as the peril, of living with/out a family that I've created. Having good friends in my life has always been integral to me saying that I'm successful as a person. And, I have some really great friends (although, granted, not all of them live in one place).
I was looking for statistics on the 'new' style of blended families, which is to say, families of your own choosing, but they're far and few between. I have seen them in the past, but I can't seem to pull up anything now. But I remember it being that said that a healthy social life created a kind of family between people of different groups and backgrounds based on a need to have a social 'grounding' so to speak. And this grounding in group of people with different roles creates stability in a life where there might be less stability.
It's a good feeling to feel 'safe' because you're surrounded by people that can fill the roles of uncle, spouse, brother, sister, father/mother in some cases. And those roles really matter because we still judge our 'other' societal relations based on our contact or need to attend events with our 'family' whether chosen or blood-related. In reality, we all have to 'choose' our family--to love them or hate them, to trust them or distant ourselves from them. But good family members will always be there for us, even if it isn't always quite in the way we expect.
After having a long period of time away with my family, I realized that whenever I have been really happy in life, I have always managed to have a family of friends to rely on.
It seems to me that what really matters in life is the size and quality of your social structure. And that quality can be evaluated based on how 'familial' your friends are. Yes, some of them are like the cousin you never wish you had, but on the other hand, we love people in spite of their flaws. (Indeed, sometimes it's people flaws that make them charming, not their better qualities.)
As I get a bit older now, and live so far away from my family, I'm starting to see the benefit, as well as the peril, of living with/out a family that I've created. Having good friends in my life has always been integral to me saying that I'm successful as a person. And, I have some really great friends (although, granted, not all of them live in one place).
I was looking for statistics on the 'new' style of blended families, which is to say, families of your own choosing, but they're far and few between. I have seen them in the past, but I can't seem to pull up anything now. But I remember it being that said that a healthy social life created a kind of family between people of different groups and backgrounds based on a need to have a social 'grounding' so to speak. And this grounding in group of people with different roles creates stability in a life where there might be less stability.
It's a good feeling to feel 'safe' because you're surrounded by people that can fill the roles of uncle, spouse, brother, sister, father/mother in some cases. And those roles really matter because we still judge our 'other' societal relations based on our contact or need to attend events with our 'family' whether chosen or blood-related. In reality, we all have to 'choose' our family--to love them or hate them, to trust them or distant ourselves from them. But good family members will always be there for us, even if it isn't always quite in the way we expect.
VOW: Last Friday Night
As per usual, Katy Perry produces original content. Wait for the Corey Feldman at the end.
Sunday, September 04, 2011
TOW: Money and Love
I spent a lot of time thinking this weekend about the kind of family I am from. My brother got married this weekend, and it was interesting to see the difference between the bride's family and our family. It hurts to say this, but our family probably paid for all of the wedding. And weddings are interesting because they are not romantic events that have Hollywood moments. They're actually quite political in nature.
It's funny that we all think that people these days marry for love and for common interests between them and their partner...especially since the state of marriage, since time immemorial, has been, for the most part, a practical arrangement. Even in Genesis in the Bible, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." God didn't say it's not good to be without love. Just that it's not good to be without someone, and to be without God. These are practical concerns, not romantic or 'emotional' concerns. God was rational when he did what he did.
And history shows that arranged marriages were made to produce good children and bloodlines as well as financial gain and stability. Very few wedding attendees, now and almost certainly back then, talk about whether they think the couple is in love, or how in love a couple seems. It's more that people talk about the food, how long the speeches were, whether they were hot, crowded, bored or tired...people talk about all things political at a wedding, and more than anything, it's usually about whether a wedding was expensive or cheap.
And like all good things of price, a good wedding is expensive. The average expected cost of a wedding in Canada is $23, 330. In the U.S., it's about $24k
People often comment whether a bride buys into money or not. Great novels have been written about if a woman chooses a penniless man she loves or a man with $ who is good enough.
Very rarely do the two coincide, apparently.
I got to witness a lot of political family undercurrents, a lot of interesting surprises, and a lot of questions about what it is that makes a marriage great. In the end, the most important thing seems to be true--practical concerns will make or break a marriage. Therefore, money is not the key to happiness, but it seems to be the key to a good marriage and a good family life.
While I'm not sure I entirely believe that, experience seems to be teaching me otherwise. I've seen a lot this weekend that suggest that people marry not for love, but because marriage is a practical social arrangement. Not convienent, but practical. Convienent would be common-law.
Anyways, the point is that marriage requires a lot of work...and that means loving the other person, but also recognizing the practical needs of your partner and yourself. Because it seems to be that ignoring those practical needs will certainly result in the failure of any healthy relationship.
It's funny that we all think that people these days marry for love and for common interests between them and their partner...especially since the state of marriage, since time immemorial, has been, for the most part, a practical arrangement. Even in Genesis in the Bible, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." God didn't say it's not good to be without love. Just that it's not good to be without someone, and to be without God. These are practical concerns, not romantic or 'emotional' concerns. God was rational when he did what he did.
And history shows that arranged marriages were made to produce good children and bloodlines as well as financial gain and stability. Very few wedding attendees, now and almost certainly back then, talk about whether they think the couple is in love, or how in love a couple seems. It's more that people talk about the food, how long the speeches were, whether they were hot, crowded, bored or tired...people talk about all things political at a wedding, and more than anything, it's usually about whether a wedding was expensive or cheap.
And like all good things of price, a good wedding is expensive. The average expected cost of a wedding in Canada is $23, 330. In the U.S., it's about $24k
People often comment whether a bride buys into money or not. Great novels have been written about if a woman chooses a penniless man she loves or a man with $ who is good enough.
Very rarely do the two coincide, apparently.
I got to witness a lot of political family undercurrents, a lot of interesting surprises, and a lot of questions about what it is that makes a marriage great. In the end, the most important thing seems to be true--practical concerns will make or break a marriage. Therefore, money is not the key to happiness, but it seems to be the key to a good marriage and a good family life.
While I'm not sure I entirely believe that, experience seems to be teaching me otherwise. I've seen a lot this weekend that suggest that people marry not for love, but because marriage is a practical social arrangement. Not convienent, but practical. Convienent would be common-law.
Anyways, the point is that marriage requires a lot of work...and that means loving the other person, but also recognizing the practical needs of your partner and yourself. Because it seems to be that ignoring those practical needs will certainly result in the failure of any healthy relationship.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Friday, September 02, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
TOW: Believe in Me
I spent a lot of this week being unable to sleep, thanks to a broken air conditioner and a minor heat wave (Going from a sweet 21 degrees to 27 when it's 'cool' is a bit of an adjustment...) and my energy levels were really low. There were things I wanted to do, but I just didn't feel motivated. I did just above the bare minimum this week and it sucks when that happens.
Then I finally got a call from a client I had submitted a proposal to something like a week ago, and they just assumed it was fine and asked me for all the things I wanted to hear. "Can you do this? Can you start this without me? Etc." Suddenly, I have energy and I'm a lot happier than I was in the middle of the week. (And thankfully the A/C now works again. Whew!)
The difference between the middle of this week and the end of this week is pretty simple. Someone believed in me and asked for my help.
I don't know what it is like for other people, but I definitely have a hero complex. I like helping people, to a fault, and that's ok with me. But the thing that's really tough for me, and I think for almost everyone except perhaps the delusional, is when I feel like no one believes in me, in what I'm doing, in who I am. There's nothing quite as invalidating as someone telling you you're nothing, and the opposite, at least for me, is super validating. There's nothing I like more than someone believing in me.
Of course, this isn't the same as believing in myself (I do that just fine, thanks). But part of the reason I like a lot of the work I do and I like working for myself is because I view a lot of the work I do as helping someone else achieve a goal they have. And the better I get at the work I do, and the more experience I have, the more I tend to be able to validate those beliefs that people have in me. And there's nothing as satisfying, not quite, as being able to to make real the beliefs people have in you. We do that when we make commitments, and keep them. We do that when we exceed other people's expectations. We make what we believe, reality. And to me there's nothing quite as interesting, and as satisfying as taking other people's belief in you, and making it reality, for you and for others...in a good way.
Then I finally got a call from a client I had submitted a proposal to something like a week ago, and they just assumed it was fine and asked me for all the things I wanted to hear. "Can you do this? Can you start this without me? Etc." Suddenly, I have energy and I'm a lot happier than I was in the middle of the week. (And thankfully the A/C now works again. Whew!)
The difference between the middle of this week and the end of this week is pretty simple. Someone believed in me and asked for my help.
I don't know what it is like for other people, but I definitely have a hero complex. I like helping people, to a fault, and that's ok with me. But the thing that's really tough for me, and I think for almost everyone except perhaps the delusional, is when I feel like no one believes in me, in what I'm doing, in who I am. There's nothing quite as invalidating as someone telling you you're nothing, and the opposite, at least for me, is super validating. There's nothing I like more than someone believing in me.
Of course, this isn't the same as believing in myself (I do that just fine, thanks). But part of the reason I like a lot of the work I do and I like working for myself is because I view a lot of the work I do as helping someone else achieve a goal they have. And the better I get at the work I do, and the more experience I have, the more I tend to be able to validate those beliefs that people have in me. And there's nothing as satisfying, not quite, as being able to to make real the beliefs people have in you. We do that when we make commitments, and keep them. We do that when we exceed other people's expectations. We make what we believe, reality. And to me there's nothing quite as interesting, and as satisfying as taking other people's belief in you, and making it reality, for you and for others...in a good way.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
TOW: Like What You Like
I have a lot of friends with very diverse interests. Some are really conservative, some are creative types, some are a bit shady at times and reliable at other times...I've been friends with a lot of different people from different cultures, countries and backgrounds. Some of my friends are geeks, some of them are socialites, I surprisingly even have a few hipsters around, but I love my friends. And, if there's one thing I've learned from all of them , it's that you like what you like, no exceptions.
Part of the reason I like some of the people I like in my life are people who are unashmed to like the things they like in life. Some people are total geeks, and they can rock that. Others are serial introverts, and I enjoy spending time with them because I learn from their different perspectives on life. I like people who can boldly express how they feel about things they like. Whether you like ponies or princesses, (Or being a princess, it's just a matter of taste, I guess...) everyone has different interests, and part of the spice of life for me is being around people who really love doing the things that they do.
I think we all have different interests in life and things that we like, but no matter what we like, or who we like, we should never be ashamed of the things we like. The beautitful and great things in life come from having self-respect for your own way of living, whether that's working on your farmer's tan or staying up all night with friends at a bar. I think it's a good, healthy thing to really be in touch with those activities that make you happy and feel like a worthwhile person.
The goal of life is not to exceed other people's expectations about what we do and why we do it--the point is to love what we love and to love others around us as we engage in day-to-day life.
Sometimes I wonder why I like the people I like...and then I realize I like anyone that I think I can trust, even a little bit. It's a hard thing to learn, but once you realize that people are not there to
Part of the reason I like some of the people I like in my life are people who are unashmed to like the things they like in life. Some people are total geeks, and they can rock that. Others are serial introverts, and I enjoy spending time with them because I learn from their different perspectives on life. I like people who can boldly express how they feel about things they like. Whether you like ponies or princesses, (Or being a princess, it's just a matter of taste, I guess...) everyone has different interests, and part of the spice of life for me is being around people who really love doing the things that they do.
I think we all have different interests in life and things that we like, but no matter what we like, or who we like, we should never be ashamed of the things we like. The beautitful and great things in life come from having self-respect for your own way of living, whether that's working on your farmer's tan or staying up all night with friends at a bar. I think it's a good, healthy thing to really be in touch with those activities that make you happy and feel like a worthwhile person.
The goal of life is not to exceed other people's expectations about what we do and why we do it--the point is to love what we love and to love others around us as we engage in day-to-day life.
Sometimes I wonder why I like the people I like...and then I realize I like anyone that I think I can trust, even a little bit. It's a hard thing to learn, but once you realize that people are not there to
Friday, August 05, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
TOW: Feeling Comfortable
You know, if there was ever a moment I thought I felt the most safe, the most comfortable, the most loved, the most free, I think I could point to it. It was Grade 12 of my high school year, I was driving around in the first vehicle I ever owned (a veritable death trap to all those that rode with me) drinking an extra large coke slurpee and listening to my favourite songs on the radio. I was on possibly one of the biggest sugar highs of my life, driving down the part of central avenue that had just been built, just past the big blocks stores and the university. I felt like I had everything I wanted in my life, and I did. I felt free.
For the last couple years, I think it's fair to say that I felt out of place at times, and that things haven't gone the way I wanted (or expected) would be like saying, "I think that bomb we dropped on Hiroshima was pretty big." But, besides, that, life is starting to have its grooves again, and having lived in Toronto for over two years now, it feels...comfortable, and I have found areas to live in that make me feel safe and happy.
I was at an independent film shoot last night, as an extra, and it was a typical Toronto scene...I was surrounded by most of the things that annoy and frustrate me. Hipsters, the smell of weed, people being incredibly rude and 'big city,' some guy who jumped onto the film set naked because he thought it would be 'artistic' (no lie) and it made me realize....while I felt enormously uncomfortable, unsafe, and just generally bored by my surroundings....the atmosphere I hated so much was the one was that was making 35-some-odd-people feel good about themselves...comfortable. Safe.
There's not a lot I pretend to know about what I'm doing in life these days, but I have sort of found some financial stability, some living situation stability (although I'm sure I'll move in six months or less...) and some career stability, in my incredibly unstable career. Unlike a year ago, I can do some things without worrying about the cost of them. That's a huge change from a year ago. (A year ago I was living off a line of credit, no lie.)
What those thirty-five people had, the feeling of safety and comfort and 'fitting in' in something I've really strove to have for the last couple of years. I hope I am starting to take the kind of risks that move me in the direction I want my life to go, instead of letting circumstances dictate the way things should be. It's a really hard skill to learn, or relearn, since most people have this skill when they are comfortable, but lose it once things fall apart, once they must make the choice to face their fears with entirely no help but their own strength of will...even the best of us quail in the face of that trial. The ability to be patient with life and move forward without hesitation towards the goals you want is not something we easily achieve.
It's easy to reach for the stars when the ground isn't heaving like an earthquake. And for several years, the earth has been heaving beneath me, whether through my own mistakes, or my inability to have known where certain decisions would lead me. But every day I'm learning, that following my heart is what takes me back to that feeling comfortable. Feeling safe. Rightness in myself.
And I hope, (and at this point, honestly pray) that the more I right myself to those things that make me feel safe, and right, and comfortable, the more my world can be one of happiness, that I can share that happiness with others, and that maybe my safety, my 'comfortableness,' will be able to be given to others, others who need it.
Because it's just alright to feel free, easy, comfortable, and safe. But it's tragic to feel that way in a world where other people feel desperate, lonely and afraid. It's up to us, and only us, to make our world one where everyone can feel that they are good, worthwhile human beings.
And sometimes it doesn't take more than a feeling of being free.
For the last couple years, I think it's fair to say that I felt out of place at times, and that things haven't gone the way I wanted (or expected) would be like saying, "I think that bomb we dropped on Hiroshima was pretty big." But, besides, that, life is starting to have its grooves again, and having lived in Toronto for over two years now, it feels...comfortable, and I have found areas to live in that make me feel safe and happy.
I was at an independent film shoot last night, as an extra, and it was a typical Toronto scene...I was surrounded by most of the things that annoy and frustrate me. Hipsters, the smell of weed, people being incredibly rude and 'big city,' some guy who jumped onto the film set naked because he thought it would be 'artistic' (no lie) and it made me realize....while I felt enormously uncomfortable, unsafe, and just generally bored by my surroundings....the atmosphere I hated so much was the one was that was making 35-some-odd-people feel good about themselves...comfortable. Safe.
There's not a lot I pretend to know about what I'm doing in life these days, but I have sort of found some financial stability, some living situation stability (although I'm sure I'll move in six months or less...) and some career stability, in my incredibly unstable career. Unlike a year ago, I can do some things without worrying about the cost of them. That's a huge change from a year ago. (A year ago I was living off a line of credit, no lie.)
What those thirty-five people had, the feeling of safety and comfort and 'fitting in' in something I've really strove to have for the last couple of years. I hope I am starting to take the kind of risks that move me in the direction I want my life to go, instead of letting circumstances dictate the way things should be. It's a really hard skill to learn, or relearn, since most people have this skill when they are comfortable, but lose it once things fall apart, once they must make the choice to face their fears with entirely no help but their own strength of will...even the best of us quail in the face of that trial. The ability to be patient with life and move forward without hesitation towards the goals you want is not something we easily achieve.
It's easy to reach for the stars when the ground isn't heaving like an earthquake. And for several years, the earth has been heaving beneath me, whether through my own mistakes, or my inability to have known where certain decisions would lead me. But every day I'm learning, that following my heart is what takes me back to that feeling comfortable. Feeling safe. Rightness in myself.
And I hope, (and at this point, honestly pray) that the more I right myself to those things that make me feel safe, and right, and comfortable, the more my world can be one of happiness, that I can share that happiness with others, and that maybe my safety, my 'comfortableness,' will be able to be given to others, others who need it.
Because it's just alright to feel free, easy, comfortable, and safe. But it's tragic to feel that way in a world where other people feel desperate, lonely and afraid. It's up to us, and only us, to make our world one where everyone can feel that they are good, worthwhile human beings.
And sometimes it doesn't take more than a feeling of being free.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Restraint
You know, some of the best things that have happened to me have been because I have managed to show restraint in my life. Whether it means not drinking on a night out, or eating less (because I regularly enjoy pigging out, big time.) or not getting angry when things don't go my way, I've almost always been rewarded for taking steps back, and examining what's going on in my life, and taking the course that is modest, understanding and quiet.
While it's fun to have lots of adventure, get messy, make mistakes, and just generally enjoy life, more can be accomplished with what even just a little bit of restraint most times. It's good to be passionate, but it's also good to be focused in our desires, wants and needs.
One of the things about human beings in general is that they need time to appreciate what they have, and the more we bombard our senses and try and reach for certain kinds of highs in our lives, the less time that we have to appreciate the things we have in our lives.
More than anything, having restraint means the ability to appreciate the role of time in our lives. Everything takes time....some things take more time than others. I often get caught up trying to solve things in my life instantly, and I guess that's an offshoot of me trying to be practical. Which is funny, since I don't think most of my friends would call me practical. ^_^
More than anything, all good things in life take time. A good life takes time. Part of the problem with everyone in my generation, and all people my age, is that we want so much, but we don't know how to get it within a proper timeframe that makes sense to the rest of the world, or to ourselves. We frustrate our own ends, and often. We all have a long ways to go before we'll be where we think we ought to be.
And that sort of thinking requires restraint.
While it's fun to have lots of adventure, get messy, make mistakes, and just generally enjoy life, more can be accomplished with what even just a little bit of restraint most times. It's good to be passionate, but it's also good to be focused in our desires, wants and needs.
One of the things about human beings in general is that they need time to appreciate what they have, and the more we bombard our senses and try and reach for certain kinds of highs in our lives, the less time that we have to appreciate the things we have in our lives.
More than anything, having restraint means the ability to appreciate the role of time in our lives. Everything takes time....some things take more time than others. I often get caught up trying to solve things in my life instantly, and I guess that's an offshoot of me trying to be practical. Which is funny, since I don't think most of my friends would call me practical. ^_^
More than anything, all good things in life take time. A good life takes time. Part of the problem with everyone in my generation, and all people my age, is that we want so much, but we don't know how to get it within a proper timeframe that makes sense to the rest of the world, or to ourselves. We frustrate our own ends, and often. We all have a long ways to go before we'll be where we think we ought to be.
And that sort of thinking requires restraint.
VOW: Optimism campaign by Maxwell Coffee
I saw this video on tv, and I just had to share it...Maxwell is doing an amazing campaign that is such good social media, and really just neat to watch.
The text says, roughly: "Instead of watching a pot of coffee of Maxwell House, Why not pause for a moment of optimism?" With Shale, a 9 year old dancer. So postive. I don't know how you feel, but I love this little dancer.
Optimism, it's contagious.
(What a great idea!)
Monday, July 04, 2011
TOW: Pride in TO
I learned a lot this weekend.
While I have never had the desire to go to the pride parade, or any pride parade, really, I had a intersection of friends, events and need to get out and enjoy the weather that led me to watch at least part of the parade, and just sort of walk around and experience everything. I took a lot of photos (and a lot of things I'm glad I didn't take photos of--naked Elvis being one of them.) and I'd share them all here, but I'm a bit too lazy and it's late at night, yadda yadda, I'd rather just type out my thoughts.
I think the biggest thing I learned this weekend was that you should always stick to your guns if you know you're right, even if it means you don't get to win or if you feel like you should show mercy. In life, business, relationships, etc. I have always been a 'nice guy' about things. And, I like to think that I'm still a nice guy about things, but that I've gotten much better (or perhaps recovered for my adult self) the ability to say no to people's tomfoolery. I know who I am and I know what I want and I'm not going to sacrifice my values over something really stupid that someone else did or wants to do.
That being said, everyone needs the space to make their own mistakes.
The other thing I learned, or perhaps remembered, is that there's a lot to be said for living freely, loving who you are, and not letting life's little moments stop you from expressing yourself. Pride events, in Toronto, and around the world, are about more than just penises in fuzzy suits. (One of the many pictures I'm not putting on here...) A lot of families and people from every walk of life come to pride events, including me, because it's usually a really life-affirming sort of event. Everyone is there to dance, socialize, walk around, and just generally have a good time without causing other people any problems. Lots of people were just walking around giving high fives. It's a good atmosphere feeling. It's good to be who you are. You should love yourself. That doesn't mean you should like everything that is going on in your life, but you should stop looking at every small thing as if it isn't important. Savoring every moment really does matter, and it does make life better. Life is worth living, as long as you are willing to accept that the life you have is the one you want.
Everyone wants to feel accepted...not everyone gets to be. It's probably our biggest hurdle and responsibility to accept ourselves, and to be true to ourselves first.
Monday, June 27, 2011
TOW: The Working Life
I think back, all the time, to two books I read in environmental philosophy back in my undergraduate degree. The first was Ishmael, which I will always love, and the second is Small Is Beautiful, which is quite possibly the most boring book on the planet, but also one of the most applicable books to modern society.
You see, Ishmael is all about the culture of agriculture and modern society. The book asks: how many people can live on the planet and we all can still be happy? The answer seemed to be, that we create more people than the planet can sustain, and we starve ourselves and our families over time. In other words, most of the problems associated with famines is our own fault. The book is fairly complex, but the gist of it is about how differently we live from people who first walked the earth...most of us have forgotten the principles of living well, both in an environmental sense and a cultural sense. We don't value what we have.
On the other hand, Small is Beautiful is sort of like a next step up from that, a Jane Jacobian guide to how to create the kind of communities Jacobs envisioned as creating great urban living. It talks about the value of work, and the value of having enough in terms of work....because work should be the focus of our lives, in the sense that work should be seen as a social good.
What I have come to realize is that a large portion of the industrial, and now the information age, are unhappy with the nature of work. And more than that, people are generally unhappy with their lives. While some would say it's because we work too much, I would instead say it's because most of us work too little. Throughout the day, we all do tasks that have meaning for us, some more than others, but work means an act of creation, or even simply an act that has value to us and society.
Let me interrupt this thought with a story. I used to work at a commerical grocery bakery. Every day, I would create buns, pastries, cookies and other good for consumption. I loved cooking and baking, and this had value to me. Every day, however, at the end of my shift, I would throw away approximately 20 pounds of pastries, buns, breads, sweets, and generally anything else past its due date. Those items were not allowed to be donated, given to charity, used, given to employees (that's actually considered theft in a grocery store) or otherwise consumed. It was waste...in grocery terms: it was "shrink."
Throwing perfectly good food, food that was meant for pleasure and not neccessarily for nutritional value, killed my soul. To me, there is nothing better in modern life than being able to do something, to have something, simply because you want it. It's a luxury not many countries or people can afford these days, and baked goods are made to produce that feeling of 'feeling good' that has been gotten over years of hard work, work that actually mattered.
I think that, sometime in the near future, someone is going to stand up and say, "Hey, the way we work isn't valuable, and we're hurting our own people and culture by continuing to create line workers out of perfectly intelligent, vivid and interesting people." Many movies have explored this problem, many books have explored this problem, but unfortunately, the words 'outsource' and 'downsize' are still a very large part of our vocabularies.
I think my life changed after reading those books, but even more so after I saw their basic principles applied again and again. We're becoming so efficient that we're eliminating jobs as the population increases, and some people have simply given up on looking for work. In other words, we're no longer starving people because of the inability to monitor the amount of food we have, but we're willfully creating a society where people are going to be unemployed for at least a larger portion of their lives. And more than that, we're outsourcing the valuable, high level thinking work to cheaper companies, while keeping on the people who can do the mundane tasks that no one would do without the benefit, the value of creating something that work should give us.
You see, Ishmael is all about the culture of agriculture and modern society. The book asks: how many people can live on the planet and we all can still be happy? The answer seemed to be, that we create more people than the planet can sustain, and we starve ourselves and our families over time. In other words, most of the problems associated with famines is our own fault. The book is fairly complex, but the gist of it is about how differently we live from people who first walked the earth...most of us have forgotten the principles of living well, both in an environmental sense and a cultural sense. We don't value what we have.
On the other hand, Small is Beautiful is sort of like a next step up from that, a Jane Jacobian guide to how to create the kind of communities Jacobs envisioned as creating great urban living. It talks about the value of work, and the value of having enough in terms of work....because work should be the focus of our lives, in the sense that work should be seen as a social good.
What I have come to realize is that a large portion of the industrial, and now the information age, are unhappy with the nature of work. And more than that, people are generally unhappy with their lives. While some would say it's because we work too much, I would instead say it's because most of us work too little. Throughout the day, we all do tasks that have meaning for us, some more than others, but work means an act of creation, or even simply an act that has value to us and society.
Let me interrupt this thought with a story. I used to work at a commerical grocery bakery. Every day, I would create buns, pastries, cookies and other good for consumption. I loved cooking and baking, and this had value to me. Every day, however, at the end of my shift, I would throw away approximately 20 pounds of pastries, buns, breads, sweets, and generally anything else past its due date. Those items were not allowed to be donated, given to charity, used, given to employees (that's actually considered theft in a grocery store) or otherwise consumed. It was waste...in grocery terms: it was "shrink."
Throwing perfectly good food, food that was meant for pleasure and not neccessarily for nutritional value, killed my soul. To me, there is nothing better in modern life than being able to do something, to have something, simply because you want it. It's a luxury not many countries or people can afford these days, and baked goods are made to produce that feeling of 'feeling good' that has been gotten over years of hard work, work that actually mattered.
I think that, sometime in the near future, someone is going to stand up and say, "Hey, the way we work isn't valuable, and we're hurting our own people and culture by continuing to create line workers out of perfectly intelligent, vivid and interesting people." Many movies have explored this problem, many books have explored this problem, but unfortunately, the words 'outsource' and 'downsize' are still a very large part of our vocabularies.
I think my life changed after reading those books, but even more so after I saw their basic principles applied again and again. We're becoming so efficient that we're eliminating jobs as the population increases, and some people have simply given up on looking for work. In other words, we're no longer starving people because of the inability to monitor the amount of food we have, but we're willfully creating a society where people are going to be unemployed for at least a larger portion of their lives. And more than that, we're outsourcing the valuable, high level thinking work to cheaper companies, while keeping on the people who can do the mundane tasks that no one would do without the benefit, the value of creating something that work should give us.
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