Being Employed

I got texts from two friends within two hours of each other that they had been laid off.

I thought about saving this until the weekend, but I wanted to talk about how I feel about things like this.

Being unemployed sucks.  It really sucks.  Being let go, especially when you've been working hard really hurts.  And all those feelings you have about work, about how hard (or not hard) you've been trying come up out of nowhere and attack you when your defenses are down.  And all you can do is say, "Well, here's to the future."  For some people, that transition into something that is 'the future' is going to be really easy, and they won't spend more than several weeks unemployed.

But more and more people my age are getting laid off, and being unable to re-employ themselves. I should know because it's happened to me.  It's not pretty and you feel like an arse throughout the entire process.   There are plenty of people in the baby boomer age group that complain when they are laid off because they say young people are taking all their jobs.  Haha.  Yeah right. 

I have a hard time feeling sorry for these people.  You've had a life to make yourself a living and savings.  You have a nest egg usually and you, baby boomers, and sub-prime mortgages, are the reason people my age can't get employment anywhere.  I've seen people 10 years too old to be in junior positions and working them like the next hot intern off the press.  In other words, no matter what happens in the next twenty years, my generation is screwed.  We don't know it yet, but having followed the labour stats around the world, and it's not pretty.  In Spain, youth unemployment, ages 15-24 is 45%.  It's higher than Greece, which is 42.9%.

Basically half of Spain's youth are unemployed.  And the 'regular' unemployment rate of Spain is 21.3%  That means there are about 5 million people unemployed in Spain.  Think about that....Canada only has 33.7 million people.  If we had that many unemployed, where would we be??  Our unemployment number say that we're at 14 per cent youth unemployment, and the overall unemployment rate is 7%.  It's going down, but it doesn't mean people are employed full-time it just means they're employed.  People are age are stuck in terminal, part-time or entry level positions.   

The real employment stat that no one wants to talk about, but has been featured in the media for over a year, is how many unemployed college and university grads there are...and let me tell you, there are a lot of them.  But no one is counting them as a separate group unless it's a university, and they inflate their numbers for marketing purposes.  When was the last time Stats Canada ever did anything that helped people ages 25-30 or counted them as a separate group?  Because that's my generation, and we've been referred to by Macleans as 'Generation Screwed.'

And I believe it.  Other than my friends that have government or bank jobs, I can't think of anyone my age who isn't hopping from ship to sinking ship.  Because no one can afford to employ people in my age group.  We don't have enough experience, we don't have enough connections, and we don't have enough opportunity.  It's a bit of rant, but when will people our age be granted middle class opportunities that were available to the generations before us?  And I'm not saying, "Where's my piece of the pie?"  I'm saying "Where'd the freaking pie go?" 

 
If and when I ever run a bigger business, I hope I employ plenty of people my age, from my generation, and plenty of people younger than me.  I wish more organizations would put effort into hiring younger employees.  They're cheaper, they will generally work hard or even harder than more senior employees and they honestly want to get experience.  I'm really sick of seeing what has been happening to people I've gone to school with and other friends lose their jobs over economic conditions they can't control.  When a friend loses their job, it just makes me really, really sad.  Employment was bad in the 90s as well, but this...this is the fault of a bunch of bad decisions and bad debt.  I'm fine with both of those things, but when are people older than me going to start making smart decisions for themselves and for their own children instead of complaining that they don't understand why their kids can't find jobs.


Ugh.  I could rant about this all day.

Boy I screwed up

Augh, I HATE it when I really screw-up, relationship-wise.

I feel like such a dirt-bag.  And it's because I was trying to do the right thing, apparently.

I'm such a dummy.

Well, that was new

Huh, I just got hit with Windows AntiVirus2008, the newest malware on the net.

Well, thankfully, it only took like 15 minutes to destroy, but I was very, very angry. I can't decide if the video codec for some video I watched who-knows-when had some sort of time sensitive malware attachment, or if me just being connected wirelessly to the Internet somehow just made me prone to someone going through my firewall/Norton lame-o virus protection.

(Actually, what I really think is what happened is that Martin downloaded it onto my computer, and he just flat-out lied about it, but being suspicious will get me nowhere.) However, I've read a couple other forum stories, where people basically started up their desktop and an unwanted friend had moved in. =/ So, however they're doing it, they're pretty smart about it.

I think the thing that made me really mad is that they have this horrible, horrible desktop wallpaper that installs with the program that is literally just an advertisement about how very infected your computer is. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE wallpaper, and it's like....really, really mean when someone messes with my wallpaper. I was this close to sending them an angry letter! (Even if they would have sent me more malware. =P)

Huh, I think that would make a good wallpaper theme.

Grammar Anger

You know, I am SO TIRED of people using the word 'fierce.' Some day, I would like the english language to operate on an interesting level where more than one word functions in popular usage.

*end rant*

AUGH!!

IT'S FRIDAY AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THURSDAY AND I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT PLAYING WITH DESKTOP WIDGETS AND NOW I MISSED MY CLASSES!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WHERE DID THURSDAY GO!?!?!??! WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


wwhhhyeee......*sob*

HA! IN YOUR FACE FLE!

I JUST WENT TO A PARTY WITH FRENCH EXCHANGE KIDS IN UNIVERSITY RESIDENCE AND SPOKE FRENCH COMPLETELY FOR 4 1/2 HOURS. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYONE UNDERSTOOD MOST OF WHAT I SAID AND I UNDERSTOOD THEM. (Uh, within reason.)

THEREFORE:

1) SCREW QUEBEC AND ITS ACCENT. NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND THEM. I LOVE THE 'VRAIMENT' FRENCH.

2) I CAN PLAY DRINKING GAMES IN FRENCH. IN YOUR FACE, FLE.

3) I LOVE SPEAKING FRENCH. I HAD THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD SINCE BEING HERE LAST NIGHT. IN FRENCH.

4) I AM VINDACATED. HENCEFORTH, I SHALL PROWL AND STALK FRENCH PEOPLE COMING TO QUEBEC IN RESIDENCE AND PERFORM DARK RITUALS AND MAKE THEM MY LANGUAGE SLAVES.

5) Uh, omit #4, especially about the whole "I'm into the necronomicon' kinda stuff.

6) I LEARNED AND FIXED SEVERAL PIECES OF MY F-LANGUAGE AT AN EXTREMELY LARGE PARTY. I HAD CONVERSATIONS THAT LASTED OVER 45 MINS IN FRENCH. I AM AWESOME AND SCREW THE GRAMMAR NAZIS IN THE FLE AND THEIR INABILITY TO PUT ME IN THE RIGHT LEVEL OR AT LEAST CHALLENGE ME AT THE LEVEL I'M IN. STILL. ANGRY. KILL. RAGE. FUME. VENT. RANT. MOB. TEDDY BEAR. YES!

7) I WILL HENCEFORTH MOVE TO FRANCE AND BE A REFUGEE AND LIVE IN A SLUM OF PARIS. I WILL OPEN A TABAGIE WHERE PEOPLE CAN WALK INTO MY STORE AT 3AM DRUNK AND HIGH AND BUY DORITOS AND AMERICAN CIGARETTES. THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. IT WILL WORK WELL. FRANCE LOVES ME. MORE THAN A PHD.

8) I MET A GERMAN GIRL IN PHILOSOPHY AT THE PARTY. I WILL MAKE HER MY FRIEND. SHE WILL HELP ME ENROLL IN A PHILOSOPHY COURSE. LIFE HAS MEANING AGAIN. I HOPE SHE E-MAILS ME.

In other news, I lost David when he left the party, my 'debutant' friend in my class who invited me . I meant to walk him or see him home, but I lost him. =/ I really hope he's not dead in a gutter somewhere. Eeek. More stress.

Seriously, people, I came here to speak french. I do not have good things to say about this program yet, and it continually goes downhill, so it's only good things about french people. (Which, when you think about it, means that I would have been better off just coming here and working and making money instead of spending money. Sigh.) And I feel much better that I talked to french people, and a lot of them admitted that they don't even understand the Quebeckers here. So, in my love affair with Quebec I have only one thing to say...it's not me, Quebec. Maybe it's a bit me, but maybe it's a lot of 'you.' Therefore, we might have to break up someday. Please don't let this happen. Make me love you again and all your 'oui's. Have me fall in love you with, like the snowflakes that ever so delicately cut into my face, because they're not snowflakes, they're freaky ice storm chunks shaped like daggers and the size of fleas. I can still take your abuse Quebec. I'll still say I fell down the stairs and hit my head when I have that black eye in my grammar and in my speech...people will believe me. So, make it so, Quebec, make it so.


*End rant*

Say Whaaaaat?

You know, I was looking up posts on 'language school horror stories' (the reason being, well, y'know) and I must say, this is terrible...it's all about the people in the U.S.A. who fear that illegal immigrants are taking over their country. This is crazy:

"I'm all for learning a second language, but here in Texas we're probably in the beginning stages of seeing Spanish classes mandated for all children. Many of our European ancestors whose first language was not English still learned it after arriving in America. Why are we catering to and making exceptions for the (mostly illegal) Mexicans?"

Are you kidding me? Did you actually just write that??? Look, I know that I'm not aware of the local culture or anything, but have you considered the fact that technically the world does not revolve around Enlgish normally, it just does now because of the internet and high speed tech?? Geez.

I would be interested to know what my American friend Ginny thinks about this...(in fact, Ginny, when I'm in Toronto in a few weeks, I DEMAND that you tell me what this is, and why I can't understand) since she's really good at explaining American culture to me in so many different ways. =D

The rest of the thread is nuts, as well. It's all about how American culture is dying and illegal immigrants get more than registered citizens. I honestly don't understand it. Secondly, there's all this stuff about how peaceful demonstrations of white people are what's really needed to put everything back in its place. While I kinda understand, I still don't get it. Because, really, after the huge movement against racism in the 80s, and all those great songs, and even the show South Park with Chef being black, I still don't understand how this kind of racism exists.

Oh, and sleep post still matters people. Tell me what you think. Brennan needs a new sleep pattern.

OK, for real

Honestly, this is getting out of hand.

I can't sleep.

Can't anyone tell me some good methods to relax before going to bed? Seriously, I'll try anything. I sleep at whacko hours (usually when I don't want to, like 8-11pm and 1-3pm) and I lay in bed eyes wide open the rest of the time. Anything, I'll try anything.

Should I stand on my head before I sleep? Was there a memo somewhere that that's what people do now before bedtime? Or maybe I'm not doing enough zen meditation? Seriously, people what am I missing?

I'm doing alright with it, but seriously, I go to class and then I go home and sleep. This is crazy.

Death to Applied Ethics!

Honestly, if I hear one more person laud on about the values of applied ethics....

I don't know, but it probably won't be very ethical.

The Cloud and its Silver Line

You know, a lot of bad stuff has been happening to me lately, ie.:

-The french is driving me mad
-The french course is partially driving me mad (although not in the same way)
-My laptop doesn't recognize DVDs anymore, making all my DVDs I brought with me useless (Why did I have to buy that Pilates work-out DVD and bring it?? WHY??? AND I SO WANTED TO WATCH THE B-VERSION OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT IN FRENCH)
-My pen for my wacom tablet (the thing I use to make cartoons, easily and happily) has kicked the bucket, and I have no idea how to fix it (this doesn't mean I didn't consult the user manual. I did. It told me I broke my pen.) so therefore cartoons may be nil in the near future. This was a MAJOR outlet for me. A major outlet, now dead. Like Heath Ledger style dead.
-The french is driving me mad
-I recently got swabbed of some of my money (really, really don't want to talk about it, but it could have been a lot worse, so it's alright) trying to buy something online that wasn't legit, which means I'm a dummy, and now I'm in the process of filing a complaint for fraud
-I am having serious problems sleeping. I know I am normally crazy with my sleep schedule and I usually love it, but I'm not kidding you when I say I am exhausted most days, and I get into bed, and I lay there, with my hands crossed over my chest, like a mummy, or maybe a vampire, and lay there with my eyes wide open. I just lay there. Not thinking. Eyes wide open. Highly unnerving.
-My connection to internet, through a router, is very bad, and I often disconnect from the internet daily, and I am starting to think that I may be living without internet on a regular basis if I'm not careful. I pray everyday that there are no mild vibrations, tremors, minor earthquakes, or nearby impacting missles which may upset the hanging-by-the-thread connection I have to the 'world unreal' which is my only means of entertainment, minus conjugating verbs (thanks to my dead DVD player). These prayers are usually unanswered, and it's not the kind of thing I want to bother my landlady about on a regular basis (ie. more than once every two days.) I do look on the bright side here, though, and she is going to get a router that allows me to connect wireless. While I wasn't looking for this in a place when I first moved here, I am now, especially that I cannot have easy access to the router to fix any problems I might have.
-My shoes are slowly dying. Thank you Quebec winter, where it can be minus thirty plus wind, and yet there still manages to be a sufficient amount of slush for me to nearly slip and kill myself everyday when I cross a major intersection with lots of buses that never seem to stop on time, and angry Quebeckers who drive like they speak french--fast and without a lot of concern for the details. (like me, for example.)
-the french is slowly driving me mad.



This week has just been a PEAK for frustrating things for me...and normally I'm not so upset, but I swear, I'm turning into a rage-a-holic. Everything seems to spur me a little. I don't know where I would be without all the correspondence I've been receiving from various people in my family, friends, etc. Probably utilizing a lot more french swears (since they're all meaningless to me, anyways, except when my friend David in my class says "tabarnak" in class as an answer to the question "What word starts with 't', everyone?" Even I can feel the social context seething on that one, and he just does it to be funny. Great guy, that Dave.)

One thing (although there are a few other private things, but that's for those people) that really made my day was seeing all the pictures of my friend Jim's new baby. Normally I destest baby pictures, (I think just because I love children, but not babies...not sure why. Huh.) but, if anybody would be good parents, the kind of people to really love their kid, and not just have kids because they are kids, then it would be this married couple. I really was able to have a happy moment for someone else this week, even amongst my own daily going-ons. It is something that gives me pause, which is really good for me.


So, it's been a lot of lows, not a lot of highs, but you know, it's all alright. I have been stressing about lots of things, but in the big picture, it's not a big deal. At least there is happiness somewhere in the world, maybe a little far away from me, but it's somewhere, and it's real. And that makes me happiest of all, seeing other people happy. It sometimes reminds me about the big things in life, and what the big picture is, since my life is currenly a mosiac of little things, which currently are stringed together, a messy blanket of many things, all which have little meaning, but I have to give them some meaning....since it's my little mess of a life maintenant.

Anyways, I hope everybody else is well. I've finally picked up some stamps so I can send things to people now.

That makes me happy.

My Life as a French Student

Well,


It's been three days since class started, and already things are a little strange. I am very frustrated right now because they put the people who are right on the edge of the intermediate group, maybe 10-45 class hours away (ie. people who can speak and use some forms of other tenses, albiet badly, and speak pretty much without a problem in present tense, people whom they call 'advanced beginner') in with the people who absolutely. cannot. speak. a single. not a single. word of french.

I would be lying to you if I said there weren't times in the last two days I wanted to put a gun to my head or even just scream. Ack. Thing is, there were many 'advanced speakers' in the class before, and they could speak a higher level, and make things easier (ie. harder). However, two of them just left this morning for the next level (one that I really liked) and only other two of them took a test to see if they can go up to the next level this afternoon. If they leave, I will literally have no one to talk to in french, at least for the first three to possibly five weeks. This will be like my grade nine nightmare of core french all over again. (Seriously, it was bad. VERY BAD. Tres-bad-avec-le-bleu-cheese-bad.)

So, to 'quell' the adolescent rage, and the feeling stupid, (As in, "I'm so stupid at french they put me with the people who can't speak any french, so I'm really bad at everything' feeling) I went to talk to my teacher because I thought, you know, maybe if I talked about it, I would feel better, and I did, a little. And, also, because I know that I was partially frustrated because I couldn't speak french at the level I wanted, I was probably just mad at myself, especially over the last few days of 'language shock.' The teacher and I talked, and I told her I was worried it was always going to be really slow in this course, and that I understood everything she said in class (which, in my opinion, is usually not great in a language course, and definitely a bad sign in beginner's class) and I think it was clear I was really sad I was over the whole thing.

Tres Bizzare, she then she asked me if 'I' could (not if I wanted to, but if I could just do it for herm if I had the time) to write the little mini test to see if I should be at a higher level. I was like, "what??" and I did it anyways, (I mean hey, if they're going to give me even more than what I want and make me work so hard I cry, I definitely won't complain since this is what I came here for.) and made up a bunch of endings for the past tense, and wrote a short compisition for her, but it was really bad, (seriously, I totally made up words, and I didn't know what to write most of the time) and I told her that it was too hard for me, and that made me feel better, so that's alright, and she said it wasn't a problem, and was really nice to me. I kinda feel like the bigger man because I swallowed my pride and admitted that.

I suppose I should be a little more forgiving and realistic, since everyone will catch up, I guess. But for me, it's not about waiting for people to catch up; my time is just as valuable as the people who paid for the course and are complete beginners. I just feel kinda sad because I feel like I did something wrong because I know too much french for where everyone else is starting and not enough french for where I want to be starting.

I think what my fear is, is that everyone else is of a slightly different mentality. There are people that want to learn french, and then there are people that want and need to learn french. And I really, really want to learn french. I want to learn so bad I could cry. But I don't want to have to do it all myself after sitting through days of "Bonjour, Comment tu t'appelle?" because there isn't anyone (minus the very nice Australian couple in the back of the class, maybe) who can even speak in a full phrase, by themselves. And it's been three days. I need french for myself, I really do, but I am not sure I am going to learn more in this course than I did in my two week course in Belgium, and if that happens, I'm going to be so sad. =( =( =(

I think I would be more ok if I could have some sort of realistic promise that we were going to cover more than the present tense in 15 weeks. I should suppose we are, but I'm worried how long it will take to get there, is all. Do you think my fear is in earnest, or maybe I'm just freaking out because it's the first couple days? Maybe there's something else I could do? I'll have to think about it.

Whew, well, it's been a long day, and one good thing about being here in Quebec are all the people I can speak french with, so maybe I should focus on that, and less on the classroom experience. I think I will rest a bit, kinda chill and have an early night. Tomorrow is a big day, student pictures.

AUGH

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE AND LOOKING FOR ADDRESSES AND REVIEWS OF FRENCH RESTARAUNTS AND PATASSIERIES???????


WHY??????????


*SOB*


WHY CAN'T I FIND A RESTAURANT THAT I COULD CHERISH???????

POURQUOI ? ? ? POURQUOI VOUS M'ALLECHEZ, MON BON PARIS D'AMI ? ? ?

POURQUOI ???

What's wrong with MSN Live

If you want to be disgusted by windows Live Spaces, then go here: http://on10.net/Blogs/tina/windows-live-spaces/


Honestly, why anyone uses these things is beyond me. My computer nearly crashes IE trying to LOAD one of these stupid 'Spaces,' because they're so graphic intensive, and because so many of Micro's programs try and start when you load a SIMPLE WEB PAGE. If you look at Windows Live Writer, again, we can see the failure of products that should be simple and streamlined. Given this, along with MSN's new creepy robot Muse, it's enough to make anyone wish for the death of Windows Spaces.