Je Fini!

I am FINISHED!


You have no idea how happy (and, yet, sad) I am, but I am finished teaching english, for at least as long as it takes for me to find a career in a some other way! =D Well, regardless, I'm finished teaching English in Tienen, anyways. Marianne has already hired someone else. =)

Anyways, I thought I would just take you around where I work a bit, since I'm finished there and everything. (Therefore meaning that I can't get fired for anything I say here. Eh heh.)




This is Classroom 9, also known as the only nice classroom we had. It's all cushy, and has nice plants, and is the biggest, and this is where we keep

a) the cards with all the information about lessons on them
b) the stereos needed for the lessons
c) all the children's material which never gets used (Who wants children's lessons in Tienen???)
d) any new material for new students Marianne leaves in here and, most importantly,
e) Where Marianne keeps all the cookies and candy. Honestly, every Berlitz school I've been to seems to have cookies and candy. Strange, because it never gets eaten by the students, as far as I can tell. =/ Who eats this??? I only ever saw Marianne eat a cookie once, and the Forem people (unemployed language learners) just MASSACRE the stuff, but other than them, I have no idea who eats these things.





This is the poster of the 'levels' in Berlitz. Yes, Berlitz levels. We train people to learn how to tell what level someone is at. Level A is 'Absolute Beginner' and Level 11 is 'Native Speaker.' Naturally, I'm somewhere around a level 2. My English good. Real good.

I should also tell you that this poster, and any and every poster of Berlitz makes, is required by Berlitzian law to be included in every school. Therefore, you are, as a teacher (rather sadly, I would say) greeted by the same 4-5 posters every time you walk in a Berlitz school. Does no one else care that the teacher's are infected with the propoganda much better than the students are???







This here, is classroom 1. I don't really like classroom one. It's where I spent most of my time freezing because I forgot to TURN ON THE HEATERS EVERY TIME EXCEPT ONCE. One thing that I don't understand about Berlitz is why they always buy the kind of heaters that have to be turned on...it's cheaper to regulate the temperature, isn't it? Anyways, this classroom was memorable. And dank. And chilly. And the temperature would not bother me, but I spent most of my time in there on little to no sleep, so it HAD to be cold, OR I MIGHT FALL ASLEEP. AND THAT WOULD BE BAD.





Unfortunately, I couldn't find the poster of the Sesame Street Friends (All rights reserved) that I wanted to show you, but this will have to do. This is Tingo. Everyone who teaches kids lessons knows Tingo. Why? Because Tingo is a Muppet created specifically for Berlitz Kids Lessons, and the instructor is encouraged to use the Tingo hand puppet to help explain words to children.

....

Kids Teachers hate Tingo.


Tingo is the kind of Muppet that little children have nightmares about. His (Her's? Its????) eyes are just a little too big and lifeless, and the puppet would give me bedwetting tendencies for the rest of my life if I were the child approached with this thing. Maybe it's the green and orange and purple fur. Maybe it's the marsupial-like tail. I have no idea. Needless to say, most of the Berlitz kid's instructors feeling towards Tingo is that Tingo would be good for disciplining little children because it's SCARY, not because it's FUN. My good friend C said that she planned to tell kids that Tingo was going to come to their house and eat them if they were bad during an english lesson. We thought Tingo would be more effective if we attached large teeth to Tingo. Unfortunately, such a plan never saw the light of day. Sad.






This is classroom 15. Clasroom 15 has no carpet. When it gets hot, classroom 15 smells. Smells like a dentist's chair. Badly. There is almost nothing worse than being in classroom 15. It smells even worse than classroom 12. Ugh. Classroom 15, I will not miss thee.


And, that...is that. That is the last I will see of Berlitz in Tienen.

But I still have to send them claim forms for my expenses because Marianne said she didn't like the way I did them.

....

Some jobs never die.

The Big, big stupid long story that we've been waiting for since forvever and a day

Ahem.


Hello.

Sorry it's been a while.

I have been waiting to save my post 250th for whether I handed in my thesis on time, or whether I deferred until August.

I deferred to August.

I decided I would put the whole thing in cartoon form, since this would be more like a regular thing in my life, and not like a life-defeating incident. So, on with the story! Because I'm fine with it and nothing is wrong-like! Yay!











When I handed in 1/3 of the 2/3rds of my first draft that I was finished to my promoter, he told me to scrap it all. I will not go into reasons for why this is so. That's incriminating and blogs are public and that's all that needs to be said on the Internet. =) Needless to say, I was a little put off.






I talked to my mom about this, and she suggested that I put everything into it and try to finish on time, since they, my family, were coming over to see me graduate, which looked really-not-likely-going-to-happen-on-time, and she was very unimpressed with this idea. My mother...........encouraged me--strongly--to hand it in on time. When I thought about it, really, she was (is) right. There was no reason to stop working on it until 'after' final exams. It would just ruin the summer for me, and taking a break before exams is not necessary. Work hard now, not later. It was something I had forgotten. Sometime lazy Belgium makes you lazy.





So, I decided, what the heck. I didn't think I would get it in on time, but I would write it like I was planning to. Considering that I was back to square one (again, let's not talk about why) I had, really, nothing to lose. The worst that could happen is that I didn't hand it in on time, which, really, wasn't that bad. It was already looking like that.









So, I started writing my thesis the day that classes finished, on...um...15th of May? Maybe a little later, and it was due on the 29th of May. Anyways, something like that. Between working teaching English, classes finishing, and other small details, I was somewhat busy, but I managed to write for many, many, many hours a day. Many.





Surprisingly, somewhere around a week before it was due, I realized that I WAS going to be finished on time. My promoter offered me an extension of two days (if I wanted to rush it) when he had told me to scrap the 'other' draft, so I could hand it in on the 31st, if I wanted. I COULD actually hand in my thesis on time. Granted he wouldn't read it, but this bothers me less and less these days about whether he reads it or not. As long as 'I' think I can defend it, and I'm coherent, it's fine. I've read enough literature to kill about an acre of the rainforest, and I'm pretty sure my mark won't change that much if I had handed it in June or August, really...since there are 'secret' marks applied here...they're concerned about you making deadlines here...very um, continental. Best way to say it, I guess.




I was very happy, and I started to get really excited. I was going to be done my thesis on time! Life is good again! But naturally....






Something bad happened.





I worked on it almost non-stop for the next week. I sent drafts to Ginny and Patrick to read and wrote everything else up, little details, etc., checked a lot of small things, and when the first draft was ready, I went to a little cafe, and ate apple pie and drank European Nestea while I corrected it. It was terrific. I asked my promoter for an extension, and got one, even to June 1st, but I had to specifically ask the person in charge of 'accepting' theses, which I did. No problem, although I was a little scared because I was taking a big risk not having time away from my thesis like that. But...y'know. Can't live scared forever. Worth a shot, anyways.





Now, around 11am in the morning it was due, I just needed to dress up my conclusion to be finished, and then I would print it, and hand it in before 4pm at the institute. No problem, or relatively little. However, I really felt that something wasn't right.





And something wasn't.
I had screwed up part of my MAJOR argument and my conclusion.
...
.........
I realized that I had made a HUGE mistake, and assumed something in my conclusion that I thought was implicit in my entire thesis, and it wasn't there. I realized I was missing a whole strand of argument that needed to be in place for me to say what I wanted to say.

It was about 12pm, and I had 2 options. I needed to write an extra 10-15 pages that were actually worthwhile to 'fix' my problem, or...I could do it the easy way, which is simply take out the half-baked strand of argument that I had included in my conclusion, which was the extended and interesting argument where I thought my thesis was leading.





Naturally, I tried to do the more mature thing.



Anyways, the grand result of this was that, considering that I was going to a wedding at 5pm, and my thesis was due at 4pm, there was no way for me to get it in on time, and be sane. In fact, by 2pm, I realized there was no way I could possibly handed it in without having my head handed to me on my defence, which I just couldn't accept. That wouldn't be alright for me. So, I mentally faced the big scary fact that I got my hopes up for nil, and really, that it was very, very stupid, and that I needed to e-mail said thesis reader, and tell them I couldn't submit. Of course, I suppose I would have e-mailed the person in charge directly, but that was a little more than I could mentally handle at that point. I really just wanted to quietly slink my tail between my legs and walk away until I actually handed it in. I faced the fact that I wasn't going to hand it in on time, and that was that. No excuses, no regrets. I went to the wedding, I was half-baked, I'm pretty sure Ralph thought I was more than a LITTLE weird that day (until I finally told him that I hadn't slept in two days) but the food was nice, the company was great, and it was just like when somebody dies, you just need to be around people. And I was. Everything was fine. Really! Just fine! No worries!





..........

...................

Maybe I didn't handle it, ahem, QUITE that well, but that's how I handled it once I came down off the thesis high I had been on. Granted, it didn't get handed in on time, and while that means a lot of non-bonuses for me, I'd rather do something I'm proud of then hand in crap, since the reaction to it is going to be the same from my promoter and the reading committee, which is: "This is crap! I don't understand or agree with any of this!" However, the only way I'll possibly be able to walk away from that experience with any kind of feeling of non-regret is by doing the best that I can. And that doesn't mean doing anything but what I can do best, which is not much, but I'd rather put a little more effort into things. I think that would be best.

On the bright side, I realized that I SHOULD be proud of myself, because I wrote 94 pages (excluding references) in less than two weeks.

I don't know how I did that.

So, I'm keeping positive about it, and everything is 'more' fine than it was a couple of weeks ago. I'm glad that I had this experience. It sort of taught me that even hard work, the hardest kind of work sometimes doesn't win the day, and it kinda screws everything up when the 'big deadlines' get passed, and that's alright. I'm really happy I tried. It didn't work out, and I looked a bit foolish (Who asks for an extension and then says they can't hand it in because they made a big mistake? Who does that???) but I think it'll be alright. I am going to work hard for the next while, and hopefully with the help of a PhD student, I will be able to hand in something a little better than what I had orginally planned.


OK, I have to go to bed. I'll start posting more regularly now that life is happening again for me!

Working

Oh, I'm still alive, but I'm working on my thesis. I probably won't post anything significant until after May 29th, but maybe before that, I have no idea. It's all too random to tell these days. Later!

Rock, Paper, Paper

Today I found an online rock, paper, scissors game.

I made it all the way to round 7 by choosing scissors all the time. Because, y'know, I'm sharp.

I should be picking paper, but that's assuming that paper is going to beat thesis defence.

It's a strange day, but very nice here. I need a nap. Maybe I'll sleep for a bit before I go to work. Yawn.

Today was a good day.

Patrick, King of BBQ

Someday, we'll all be cool enough to wear t-shirts like that. =)

Test Sail

Hey everybody, I'm just trying out a new blog editor...I'll tell you what I think of it later.  I haven't had a chance to use it yet, but I thought I would give it a try now.

 

Nothing really exciting is happening currently, just the usual...theatre, my friends being crazy, and the like.  Overall, it's pretty fun.  Tonight we have a BBQ so that should be nice.  I'm still super tired but I'm making it ok. 

 

I also wrote my De Universa exam yesterday.  For the who aren't in the know, it's sort of like a comp exam, except they don't tell you what material to study, they just tell you they'll pick from three broad areas of philosophy for three very different questions, and then you have to write the exam at 9am on a Saturday morning.  The exam is four hours to write one question.  You then go home and type up two copies of your exam (they stamp and mark it up so you can't cheat in any way) and bring it back to the International Office for Philosophy the next school day.  Woo hoo. 

I did alright, I think, although I made some really embarassing errors while re-typing it...my conclusion was a little weak, and I spelled Wittgenstien as 'Wiggenstien,' mainly because I never know how to spell that dude's name, and also because I was thinking of David Wiggins the analytical philosopher through my whole exam.  I was also trying to think of the name of the philosopher who wrote the book "Intro to Metaphysics" that me and Kristin took waaaaaaaaaay back in undergrad...and I could only remember his first name, which was also David....I can't seem to find him on the net, but I think it's David Lewis??? I don't remember, I'm just kinda mad I that I could visualize the article he wrote and the exact sentence I wanted to use from that article and I had a perfect quote and couldn't remember the name of the guy on my exam.  

We'll see, I think it''s a passable grade, so that's all that really matters.  I invest less and less interest in my grades these days, I think because I know how futile the grading system is here.  And I also don't worry too much because if I want to do something, I'll do it...and I don't need grades to prove how smart I am. 

 

*Big heroic pose*

 

But geez, it helps with the funding.  =)

 

OK, Later friends. 

Easter Hi-jinks

I just thought I would post some Easter pictures for you people! =D







This season, I made easter gift bags for my friends that I live with and Ralph. They turned out rather nicely, I must say. This are the ones I made for my friends. This time I thought I would be very multi-cultural, and say "Happy Easter" in Spanish and Dutch. While Easter is not such a happy time as in the rest of the Western world, Montse really liked it that I put "Pascua feliz" on her card, and Willem and Patrick got "Gelukkige Pasen," or something similar on theirs. I put something different on Willem's card, but I don't remember the exact phrase anymore. Anyways, they turned out really nice, I thought. I'm definitely not Martha Stewart, but it's amazing what you can do with wrapping paper. ;)





Next, I hid everyone's chocolate bunnies around the house. It was fun.











Montse and Patrick are searching for their bunnies.












Oh! Montseratt found hers. It was behind the mircowave. (Too easy???)


















Patrick is still searching for his bunny.















Where could it be?

















Montseratt is laughing to herself because she knows where Patrick's bunny is!









Is it in here???







Yes it is!!






Victory tastes sweet!



Next, Ralph's present I had to do while he was 'not in the room, and I had to be super sneaky about it. I even had time to take a picture. I'm like a SPY, I AM. I didn't wrap this one because I was running out of time. Give a guy a break, eh?









Next, I recieved some AMAZINGLY NEAT STUFF FROM MY PARENTS WHO I LOVE TO DEATH. Honestly, I don't know how they know what I like sometimes.






This is my hippo friend. He doesn't have a name yet. ISN'T HE SO CUTE????? I go into eclectic fits of talking to it when I look at it. Not for the faint of heart to witness.






This is Willem looking like a Greek. He's trying to help me name my hippo friend. He suggested:

Gorbachev (Or maybe that was me)
Joss (Not sure of the spelling, just spelling it like it sounds, a Belgian name)
Mortimer
Vladimir
Vladimir Putin
Raoul (Since he does have a pink bow, after all)
Mao (Which I firmly rejected)
and several other good suggestions which I have since forgotten. (Am taking suggestions)






I also received a wealth of herbal remedies and...er, a fung shei energizing crystal??? OK Mom, I get the hint. I'll get more sleep. Sorry I got sick. Ay-yay-yay. Along with this, of course, I got tons and tons of candy, all of which...was shoved up the hippo's butt. HILARIOUS.


Now, for the coup de resistance which is...dun dun dun...







YES!!!!!! AN NES CONTROLLER BELT BUCKLE!!!!!!!! I did cartwheels when I saw this with the belt I got, also as a present. Wow, I just can't believe my parents FOUND this somewhere. Totally amazing...I really like this, and plan to wear it to all my fancy occasions, maybe I'll wear it to my thesis defence...everyone needs a conversation piece. If things are going badly, I could be like, "Hey, you know, I also think I made a fallicious argument, but hey, look at my belt buckle! Shiny AND kitschy!" (You know what they say, if you can't dazzle them figuratively, might as well do it literally.) Willem also learned a new term in english: belt buckle. Crazy, eh? It's so funny because I've been wanting one of these forever and a day, and I can't believe my parent's got one for me. You guys are great.


Well, that's all I have time for, but I just really want to thank my family for all the really great Easter gifts, it really made my week, especially now that I'm sick...again. Yeah. Sad, but true. But, still living it up. So, thanks to my family, I love you guys, happy easter to everyone, yet again. I just love saying that because easter is such a big time of the year for me. I'll update you when something interesting happens.

Terrible, I am

I am still very busy, even though it's a break.

If I take a break, I'll try and update you about Easter. I had a very nice Easter. =)

Something very nice

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Happy Easter

Easter is an interesting time for Christians. It's something that's hard to explain to non-Christians, and something that can only make sense in experience more than in words themselves. For example, here, people debate the truth of the miracle of Holy Fire, which burns without causing pain for prolonged periods of time to Christians who come to witness the miracle of fire that burns without pain in Jerusalem.

For me, this Easter has been a real blessing, and has given me time to rethink my Christian identity, and to really think about what's important in my life, and what has to go and what needs to stay. Personal housecleaning is part of Lent, and Easter is the culmination of all the hard work. The feast comes after all the waiting. All the pain is worth it, in the end. It's not an ends to a means, but a circular journey in the Christian idea of the self.

The Holy Fire might not be real. In fact, science shows that such things exist as 'natural miracles', not exactly divinely inspired. While I'm sure there's something interesting here in a critique of science in reference to miracles, what I would like to stress, especially given my extremely erratic life in these last couple weeks, is that Easter miracles are in the heart for Christians, not in nature. God doesn't need to convert nature...God tries to convert hearts. (And usually succeeds, I might add. Har har.)

I often suspect most of my friends lately have been experiencing this...giving birth to our adult selves, we're still figuring out what it means to be alive, and love and be loved, and love ourselves, and to give in love, even when there's nothing good about what we have. We are good in ourselves. But we don't know how to give that without giving up ourselves. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your choices. Molding responsibility with love lets those choices have meaning.

It's probably going to be really erratic for me until I get settled in yet another path truly, but after this Easter, I feel more at peace with God and myself, something that hasn't happened in a long time. For a while now, I really didn't feel like what I did for others and myself meant very much, as the process of me giving too much and not relying on others. Sometimes I realize that I try so hard to be good and manage to end up hating myself for being what I am and who I am and for being less than what I want. Not really positive.

In the process of becoming wise, we have to give up some things, start new dreams, and we sometimes must give up old dreams along the way. The dream of Christianity is the idea of reality matching the goodness in our hearts. Easter is a mystery of the heart, and the mind. Sometimes I'm afraid of what I don't know and what is uncertain in my life. But I think that part of faith is waiting for answers that will surely surface. The flame might not hurt, but to stick your hand in the fire is still a trying experience. The fire might not even be real. But I'm still scared of it now and then.

Happy Easter everybody.

Not Dead, just look that way

Hey there guys,

I'm really busy this week, so maybe this weekend I'll post, maybe early next week. Andrea is here, she seems to be going hard, hopefully she gets what she wants during her time in Europe. It's been fun and tiring, my kinda thing. Work is crazy, everything is crazy, and, as per usual, I'm crazy.

Thankfully that hasn't changed.

Thesis currently in revamp, sleep on hold until Saturday, will try and phone family this week (for that side of the family who I haven't talked to in a veerrrrrrrry long time.) if I can.

Illness and advice

And that's the truth. I am just sacked for energy. I have a thesis meeting on Thursday, so now I have to go do a second edit, and then I'll send my promoter a copy. Hopefully he reads it, and does not immediately put it through the academic paper shredder, like usual. Sigh.

In other news, I don't have to work today because a student cancelled.

I'm really thinking about staying here next year, and maybe just working teaching english for next year, and taking a year off for myself to kind of regroup before I continue, whatever 'continue' means. I can feel myself pretty on edge lately, and I know I have to really buff up my language skills...so while I COULD do my PhD now, I think I might take some time off. If I don't, I feel like I might have a mental breakdown. Like I did this weekend. (I thank all parties who were there for me this weekend when that happened. I couldn't have made it without you. You know who you are.)

Anyways, I would still like some advice...if I get offered the MPhil, or PhD here, I'm considering turning it down anyways, and waiting a year until I've sort of put everything back in order. There are a lot of things I would like to do which I haven't had a chance to at all. For example:

i) I have been here for almost two years, and I have yet to visit any place that could be considered 'exotic' or even 'touristy.' While I don't pretend to be good at travelling (Re: Every time I've ever travelled) I do think it's valuable here, and I learn a lot by doing it. And besides, I would like to really have a vacation, something I paid for myself, and really go nuts. The closest thing to that was me visiting London for two or three days in the summer.

ii) I need time for myself. While last year was good, several things had happened
a) I had just finished working with a summer camp where I burnt myself out completely, and then left for Europe 9 days later.
b) I had just moved away for the first time for real, and it was my first time away living in a different culture. For those of you who never have, I can't explain exactly how horrible or how badly people can be hit with culture shock, but it's usually extremely bad. I don't care if you visit some place for three months, or 6 months, or whatever, but living, really living somewhere within a culture has a much different effect. And being unable to 'culturally recharge' on a consistent basis makes it only harder, not easier.
c) I moved here completely by myself (with the help of the momster, I can't thank you enough for coming with me to be there for me) and then built everything from scratch. My Belgian buddy ditched me at the naked lady statue in town. Yeah. It took me a year to find pepper here. And I just discovered somewhere that sells cottage cheese. So, it's all me, baby.
d) To be honest, I had all the time in the world, and not enough contacts. I didn't know enough people, and there just wasn't enough time to get to meet people that I really appreciated and genuinely liked. I'm starting to understand what Ralph means...the similar style ex-pats are not always the people you make the best friends with. It's the people who you can relate with, and surprisingly, they're often not from your country when you go abroad. I don't need people to give me Canadian culture, but I do need people who can support me. And, really, when I got here, I didn't know how or where to look for those people. (And I'm not sure I knew who they were when I found them, either. Strange.)

iii) I haven't had time to draw, really draw, since I've started working. Which is really terrible, because I was in the middle of getting much better. Well, relatively speaking. It's just for fun, anyhow. I like it, anyways.

iv) In all honesty, everything I used to enjoy just seems like work. Everything seems like work, and the longer I continue to burn the candle at both ends, the harder it's going to be to go back to normal-land again. I want to be able to enjoy my hobbies, running, reading, drawing, writing stuff on my blog, making indecent conversation on video with Montserrat, etc. These things don't happen anymore. I work, go to class/work on thesis, eat/sleep (Sometimes at the same time, can be dangerous to my health), do laundry, and shower to clean myself. That's about it. Sundays I spend at theatre, then home, talk to family and friends if they have time, and then go to bed at 3am-4am.


So, the more I look at the list, the more I think I'm some kinda basket-case. I don't think I'm living in a very healthy way right now, and there are a lot of things I need time to deliberate on, and I think my experience this year has been that I have limits, and that I can push them for a while, but if I do it forever, I'm going to be a big mess. And get sick. Like now. =)

Anyways, I would really like some advice. What do you think? Should I stay in Belgium? Do you think I should go back to Canada for a while? I am not sure what I am going to do with myself...I personally don't want to leave here, but I am aware that I haven't check all the legalities yet, so I'm not even sure I can without studying here. Or marrying someone European. Eh heh. Anyways, not the point. What do you think? I could really use some thoughts on this.

OK, back to work. Later!

Mistake.

Today I'm totally blaming the fact that I stayed up until seven in the morning on my need for communication on Sundays. If it wasn't for the fact that everyone is so very available on Sundays and not on, say, Saturdays or Fridays or Thursdays, or maybe Wednesdays, but definitely not Tuesdays and certainly not this Monday because I'll be sleepingthen I could talk to people and be happy, or even I could go to class at eleven this morning and be very happy. Because a happy Brennan is a Brennan that says, "I am still cognt!" Coegnt, no, bogtne, no, wait, augh. See, that's what I get. Not cogent. Anyways, I'm totally screwing myself for the week, I am. Oh boy this was stupid. Why did I do this? Stupid having to write papers for every Monday class. Augh. I'm doing it to myself, really. Why am I still here? Why aren't I sleeping?

On the bright side, it's not raining yet today. I'm in a strange mood today. I don't know what to do with myself.

I think I'll go make breakfast.

Patrick's Prize, in several installments

This is going to be Patrick's prize, and if I get time, I'm going to do the full art project that I planned. Unfortunately, that may be after my thesis as opposed to before. So, until then, enjoy your prize, Patrick! This was one I wanted to do for a while. =D

Blogger Q

Does anyone else have the issue with the new Blogger of it ignoring your paragraph breaks when using pictures? I'd appreciate not having to go into the HTML to fix this...if it's fixable. This is really annoying for me. So, hopefully I'll figure it out. Sorry for the messiness until then.

Brennan's...no, wait, Ralph's Cookbook. Sorry.

Yes, again, I have been working on the cooking skills. This time I was doing field research, and, I thought I would share the process with you all, and hopefully you get something really tasty out of this. Ralph and I made dinner one, night, and, actually it turned out to be three dinners, but that's what makes it so great! Love the mess, baby!


Ralph's Triple Threat Meal Deal

1.5 kg (or so) or ground beef (Or, if you're English, 'mince')
2-3 white onions
1 clove of garlic
1 red and green pepper each
8-12 small to medium mushrooms (8 if medium, more like twelve if medium sized)
Lasagna Noodles, no-pre-cook (We used organic-esque healthy pasta shells and lasagna noodles)
Cannaloni noodles, same deal
1 box of frozen spinach...about 2 cup fresh, 1 cup frozen, maybe bit more, depending on preference
3-4 bags of pre-shredded white cheese
salt and pepper
6 cans of diced tomato (normal soup can size)
1 can of tomato paste (for more tomato-y)



Cheese sauce-
flour and water (a roo? reiaux? I don't remember...something french which means something which means you need to look at the picture to understand what I mean. Sigh.)
Milk
1-2 bags of shredded white cheese
Cayenne pepper

1. This is about how much meat we used. Uh, maybe this is more than I thought. I originally put 1 kilo in the recipe, but now I think it's a bit more than that. Anyways, regardless, about as much as you can put in your two hands, that's about how much meat it is. Uh, just guessing.

2. You will now need to cut the onion, garlic, peppers and mushrooms into neat little piles. Or just make a big mess like I did. Ralph is a bit of a kitchen nazi, so while I was enjoying myself making a mess, he was busy asking why the garlic and the onion wasn't chopped yet. And then he asked if I was going to leave any vegetables for the meal, or if I just wanted to eat them all as I cut them. Eh heh. Some things never change, yeah? SO, chop the garlic and onion first (you'll need about 2 onions and three-to four little pieces of the clove of garlic. Wait, is a clove shaped like an apple slice or is it the whole unit of garlic??) and regardless, you'll use it with the meat.

3. Once whoever is the head chef has the said garlic and onion, in this case, Ralph, then throw the garlic and onion in with the meat itself. Cook the meat until browned properly. Now, DIVIDE the meat, two thirds in the pot, one third set aside.

4. You'll need to add some tomato (or, as Ralph would say, some toMAATo. The English. I mean, really.) to the pot, and maybe some spices. Ralph used oregano, salt and pepper some water and some wine. If it was me, I would have used some different spices, and less salt and more pepper. =D You can use any spices you like, but make sure it goes well with meat and tomato...there are lots you can use.

5. In the end, your meat should look like this. Or, if I was cooking, it would look like this, but more burnt and less tasty. The head chef had quality control going on pretty strong, so there were no real issues. This will be divided in two, one part used for a lasagna, one half used for a sphaghetti bolognaise sauce. You'll need to watch and cook the meat and everything on a low to medium heat for about half an hour to forty-five minutes, which means now is a good time to do everything else you wanted to do. Like make a third dish! =D

6. The meat you set aside earlier will now be used. Mix the meat and the spinach, and then stuff the pasta shells with the mix you have, put in the bottom of an oval or round dish until you have filled it, or nearly filled it. And, under no circumstances eat half of it while you make the meal. You'll be heavily criticized. Or, perhaps, criticised. Hah! The English!

7. Next, no picture, simply take a can of tomatoes, and spread it over top, and even out the tomato as best you can. Under no circumstances let someone criticize your skills at spreading tomato evenly on top of a pasta dish. If so, contemplate hitting him with a big wooden spoon, or flicking soapy water at him while doing the dishes.

8. Next the sauce. This is the hardest part, according to Ralph. Cooking the little flour and water dough ball thingy until it's dry, then add some milk, and whip quickly until the sauce goes smooth. The dough ball should be about 1/2 a cup of flour or so, I'm guessing? Ralph says it's very natural for the sauce to go chunky and unhappy, even if you measure well. So, just stir quickly and add milk as it thickens. Ralph made enough sauce for two to three dishes, so he's used about a litre, maybe two litres of milk. Once the sauce is smooth, add cayenne pepper and cheese. Sauce should be an edible meal now. Under no circumstances should you eat half the sauce before eating the meal.

9. Now comes the easy part. Get out a bread-sized pan (So, 2X11, I think, something like that), and fill it with layers of lasagna noodle, cream sauce, and the meat mixture. Just layer it as nicely as you can. Should be fine. (I'm envisioning major crises in the kitchen, if I actually try this by myself. Hopefully it turns out well for others.) =D Take cheese sauce, layer over the cannelloni dish, and then cover both of them with a layer of shredded white cheese. Pop these in the oven for 30-45 minutes, or until somewhat brown on the top at your average cooking temperature, about 350F or 17o-80C. (I'm getting much better with the metric here, by the way.)

10. While all this is happening, take the last third of meat mixture that you still have on the stove, and put the peppers in it, let it cook and simmer, make sure that most of the liquid has drained. If it has, the sauce is ready for spaghetti! Take out the other two when ready, and there you have it!

One! (Spaghetti sauce!)

Two! (Lasagna!)

Three! (Take a big fat guess!)

We ate the lasagna that night, it was fantastic, and I had some of the canneloni today, and I have spaghetti sauce in the freezer. I'm eating well for at least another three to five days! =D =D =D

Well, tonight was the first 'real' night of theatre, so that was nice, and hectic in its own right. I'm getting really near the breaking point, I think, need a little more rest, and I have to be careful about how much sleep I get...it's been a little too little, lately, I think. I've been playing catch-up for a week, and it's still not enough. And I'm not sure I can keep pulling the go out Friday night and stay up past one or two, and get up at 645am to go to work at nine on Saturdays. It's just too much for me to handle, especially given that I have theatre on Sundays and I have a paper due every week until final exams on Mondays and classes until 5pm on Monday, and then 9am class on Tuesdays. It's really just too much. So, more care of myself, maybe. OK, well, I have to go to sleep. Later!